


Amazed

by mvernet



Series: The Great One [1]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canada, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manitoulin Island, Mounties (RCMP), Native American/First Nations Culture, Post TSbBS, Sentinel/Guide Bonding, Spirits, character in wheelchair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 03:34:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 42,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12696477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mvernet/pseuds/mvernet
Summary: After his disastrous dissertation, Blair has the summer to decide if he truly wants to become a cop and Jim's permanent partner. Blair is offered a summer job in Canada and decides some time away from his Sentinel may be what he and Jim need.





	1. Chapter One

Detective Jim Ellison was an ordinary man with five extraordinary senses... and five faces. 

He favored his hardass face, using it most of the time. It was clean-cut, clean-shaven and tight-jawed. It was an impenetrable wall of carefully chosen stones. It was impossible to find even a chink in that heavy fortress that would allow sweet emotion to see the light of day. 

Second, closely resembling the first, was his badass face. It was saved for the criminals in his Cascade PD, Major Crime world. It stared unflinchingly at evil, cold and intimidating, worse than any fiend’s nightmare. Turned unwittingly on a fellow cop, it could cause a budding friendship to wither and die at twenty paces.

His third face was bemused. It was, surprisingly, being used more often in the past few years. It held a slight twinkle in the eye, hands getting into the action with manly faux punches, casual quick hugs with accompanying macho back slaps and occasional nookies. 

His fourth face was his Sentinel face. It was concentration personified while he sorted through a myriad of sensations he alone could feel. Timeless and ethereal, this face held the questions of mankind and the answers of the ages.

The fifth face was private, seldom seen by anyone. It was open, wanting, and achingly vulnerable. The look of need. A look that begged to be loved. This particular face had fallen into disuse. It was rusty and covered with years of old faded pain. 

The fourth, Sentinel face was the one he wore now as he sat in his truck outside his loft apartment. He was using his senses to bask in the essence of the magical man sharing his home. He could smell and hear meatloaf and scalloped potatoes bubbling and sizzling the oven. Beyond that on the balcony, a fresh spring breeze mixed with the intoxicating aroma of his roommate, friend, partner, guide and chosen family, Blair Sandburg. 

Just plain Blair Sandburg. Not Blair Sandburg, Ph.D. or Professor of Anthropology, Blair Sandburg or Detective first class, B. Sandburg. Not even, a title secreted in Jim’s heart, Blair Jacob Sandburg-Ellison. Blair had given up every entitlement to save Jim. 

Which is why Jim sat in his truck alone, his face clicking through its five variations trying to find the one he thought Blair needed. He stopped for a moment on number five, yearning for the love he couldn’t have. He sighed, and settled on the old standby, hardass. His features became stone cold and aloof. Blair needed him to be strong so he could get through this troubled time and move on to better things.

Better than an old, jaded, ex-military cop, who should never have been someone’s Holy Grail to begin with. A hardass with a hidden cold heart that dared to love, and selfishly held on to the beautiful, blithe spirit waiting for him upstairs.

~~~0~~~

Upstairs in the loft apartment he had come to feel was his home, Blair stood on the balcony gazing at the late spring sunset beyond the mountains that surrounded the city of Cascade. The city his Sentinel guarded. The city that was waiting for its shaman to awaken and take his rightful place.

Blair closed his eyes for only a moment. He had to be careful now. If he kept them shut for too long he would slip into his other world. The world waiting to claim him. Waiting impatiently for his commitment. He had died and was called back to life by his Sentinel, Jim Ellison. He had literally and symbolically drowned in the fountain decorating the grounds of his own temple. The one dedicated to his thirst for knowledge. 

He had been able to keep the call of the netherworld at bay by filling every moment of his life with activity. Guiding his Sentinel, working with Jim, hanging with Jim, then running off to the University to teach and guide the youth of Rainier. And in between, when the call was so strong he could feel himself slipping off the razor’s edge he balanced upon, he worked on his doctoral dissertation.

Now there was nothing. 

Two weeks ago, on May 24th 1999, in order to save his Sentinel, he had sacrificed himself on the altar of academia as the whole world watched. Jim had at first believed that he had been betrayed. Now the truth was known between them. That Blair never meant to publish and in fact was considering burying his diss in a vault somewhere till after Jim’s death from old, old, age. He had been planning to talk to Eli Stoddard, his mentor and friend, about how to handle the timebomb his diss had become.

But that bomb had gone off prematurely, thanks to his mother Naomi’s interference. She sent an unedited copy of the dissertation to a friend. That friend, Syd Graham of Berkshire Publishing, jumped at a chance to publish something so groundbreaking it was sure to win a Nobel Prize and fatten his own pocketbook. It was an action that was wrong on so many levels Blair needed a stepladder in his mind just to reach them all. Blair called a news conference denouncing his life’s work as fiction. A fabricated tale with an incompetent Blair starring as the Indiana Jones of fictitious Sentinel lore. 

Blair’s wounds were still bleeding, silently, invisibly. Unbound and uncared for, they festered and weakened him. Blair stood this time on the brink of emotional death. Desperately holding on to the fading friendship and unrequited love that once filled his heart and soul with life.

He no longer had a dissertation to write. His observer’s pass was handed in. His unofficial job as Jim’s partner was gone. As were his official teaching job at Rainier and any possibility for future work in academia. He was unemployed, buried in debt, and labeled a fraud. He was achingly aware that one harsh word from Detective Ellison and he was a kick-in-the-ass and an elevator ride away from indigent and homeless.

Blair sighed and walked back into the kitchen to check on dinner. He sensed Jim was nearby. Jim hadn’t noticed how recently Blair managed to serve him a perfectly timed hot meal when he arrived home. Blair could tell when Jim was near. It took all his willpower not to meet him at the door and rush into the safety of his arms. The only peace he ever felt was when Jim’s innocent touches soothed his frantic mind.

~~~0~~~

“Hey, Chief. Sandburg’s extreme meatloaf on the menu, huh?” Jim hung up his coat and headed for the fridge and a cold beer. 

Blair was just opening the oven door. “Yup. Had to change the name from Sandburg’s meatloaf surprise when I moved in with a Sentinel. You always know what’s cooking and from a mile away. I bet you always knew when to beg to eat at a friend’s house when you were a kid.”

Jim gave a snort over his beer. “Actually you ate whatever was served to you at precisely six o’clock in the Ellison household or you went to bed without dinner. I got pretty good at sneaking PB&J sandwiches from the kitchen late at night.”

Blair busied himself arranging steaming food on their plates as Jim set the table. “Sorry, man. Didn’t mean to bring up painful memories. I was allowed to eat whatever, whenever as a kid. I was lucky if some random adult remembered to feed me at all. I guess we both have dinnertime issues.”

Jim tried once again not to show his seething anger at Naomi. Not only did she ruin her son’s life, but now she was out of touch again. How she could forget to feed or bear to leave her truly precious son was beyond him. “I like what you do, Chief. Hot food, not too spicey. It’s… nice to have dinner with you.”

Jim sat and started to eat right away. Blair blushed a bit at his praise, and joined him. Jim grunted between bites, “Mmm, meatloaf good.”

Blair smiled at his successful deception of using ground turkey instead of beef. Blair absently took the salt shaker out of Jim’s hand as he started on his scalloped potatoes. “Taste first, big guy.” 

Jim grunted again, then smiled at the hint of parmesan and garlic in his mouth. They both ate in companionable silence. Jim was busy cleaning his plate as Blair pushed his food around without actually eating anything more.

When Jim was pleasantly full, he took some time to study Blair. He was pale and thin. Jim had noticed he hardly ate a bite. His hair had been haphazardly pulled into a constant ponytail for weeks, even after a shower, as if Blair didn’t care how it looked. It looked dull, brittle and unhealthy to the Sentinel’s eye. Dark circles surrounded Blair’s eyes that were gray with a deep sadness that never lifted. Gone was the almost manic blue glint and the excited bounce that set Jim’s heart to racing. Overall, Blair looked exhausted and stretched to the breaking point.

“What did you do today, Blair?”

Bair startled slightly at the use of his proper name before answering with care. “Well. I spent some time getting my resume’ updated and out online. Then I took a walk to the store to get the ingredients for this marvelous meal.”

“Blair…”

Blair rose and started to clear the table. “I know, I need a job like, yesterday, man. But I was hoping that some of my contacts were still good. I’m like a pariah in this town. No one wants to hire me, Jim. I applied for a janitor job and they said I was too overqualified and would likely disrupt their team dynamics. What the hell does that even mean?”

“Blair…”

“Wha’?”

Jim joined Blair at the counter and took the plate out of his hand. He placed it gently in the sink and turned Blair to face him. Blair relaxed under his light hold and let out a soft sound almost like a moan.

“Blair. You don’t need to find a job right away. The police academy starts in September. You need to decide if that’s what you really want. I want you to take this time to… re-group. You know, do your thing. Light candles, open your mind to the universe, all that mojo crap you always talk about. Don’t worry about anything. Relax. We’ll plan some fishing trips or maybe get out of town, go somewhere new to both of us. I have your back, partner.”

“Thanks, Jim. But I can’t take advantage of you like that. I have nothing. Nothing to offer you, big guy.”

Jim shook his head and gripped Blair’s arm a little tighter. “Fuck that, Sandburg. How can you say that after all you’ve done for me? You literally gave away millions, not to mention a bright future in your field, just to protect me. A friendship isn’t always fifty-fifty. Sometimes one person has to give a little more. It all works out in the end. You’ve carried my burdens for years. Don’t you think it’s about time for me to carry yours, Chief?”

Jim’s hardass face threatened to crumble as Blair nodded slowly and closed his eyes, finally feeling safe enough to do so. Jim’s tentative smile froze as Blair gasped and became rigid in his grasp. “Chief?” Jim immediately took in Blair’s vital signs. His breathing was slowing, as was his heartbeat. Jim’s hands wanted to pull away at the sudden coldness of Blair’s skin.

“Chief? What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

Blair collapsed in his arms. Jim picked him up and rushed him to the couch. He continued to monitor Blair as he wrapped him in a blanket. His medical training kicked in and he began a mental list of what could be wrong. He moved his hand over Blair’s body to search for hidden injuries and began to tap his cheek trying to rouse him.

“Dammit, Chief! This could be anything! I should have taken you for a check-up. I know you never take care of yourself. You’ve got yourself one stupid Blessed Protector.” 

Jim reached for the phone to call an ambulance when he noticed a grey mist near the fireplace. The mist took the form of a wolf. Its fur was shaggy and missing in places as if it had suffered a long illness. Its eyes held the same dull grey pain he had seen in Blair’s eyes.

“Oh! Fuck! Sentinel mumbo-jumbo.”

Jim checked Blair again and he did seem to have settled into a deep trance. His breathing was slow but steady, his heartbeat easily discernible to Sentinel ears. He addressed the wolf. “You sure he’s okay wherever he is? Because I’ll go straight to hell and drag him back if I have to, Mutt.”

The wolf plodded heavily to Jim’s side. He pushed his head into Jim’s hand knocking the phone out of it. Jim couldn’t help but run his fingers through the matted coat. Some fur came out in his hand. Jim let hairs fall from his fingers and watched as they disappeared before hitting the floor. The wolf leaned into Jim as if craving his attention. 

“Hey, Mutt. You don’t look so good. What’s going on with you two? Is Blair… in trouble?”

The wolf licked Jim’s face to reassure him, then sunk to the floor by Blair’s side with a deep growl.

“So we need to guard him while he’s gone, Mutt? But where is he? And when’s he coming back?”

~~~0~~~

Blair drifted into the safety of his Sentinel’s arms. His promises of care were too much for his fading resistance. What did he have to fear when his Sentinel stood guard? He opened his eyes half-expecting the blue light of the fountain where he died. He was at the fountain. It was the epicenter of Blair’s spiritual world. It was the spectre he had been trying to keep on its own side of reality. 

Everything was a shade of lush green. There was the fountain, emerald green and glowing. Its water clear and enticing. Blair looked away, far away to the mountains, pine green and frosted with the last of the spring snow. Quicker than suddenly he was on a pristine mountaintop overlooking his domain. The Shaman of the great city claiming his right to guard what was his. 

His sight went far and wide and he saw others like him on each mountaintop. Strong and resilient, fiercely guarding their own domains. The closest one was an older man, tall and thin, with straight dark hair that hung down his back. He looked like an ancient warrior of a North American tribe. He smiled at Blair and nodded. Blair knew he was part of that brothership of guardians. An important and powerful part of a whole. Never alone in the fight against evil. 

He watched as each guide was joined by their Sentinel. With silent words and gestures, the Sentinels were set to their tasks but not before kneeling before their guide, bowing their heads and inviting a blessing. The other guides smiled a benediction and bent to their Sentinels. Each taking a grateful face gently in their hands, they bestowed a kiss on each cheek. The Sentinels rose as one and turned to him raising a spear in salute while bowing at the waist in respect.

Blair’s heart filled to overflowing. He felt a great wrong had been committed. His Sentinel was not beside him. Wolves hidden beneath the swaying pines began to howl. The other guides buried their faces in their hands in sorrow. The Sentinels gathered their guides to their sides, raising their spears and growling in fury.

Blair’s heart broke. He was shattered. He fell to the hard ground that hissed and turned to sand under him. He raised his head, tears streaming down his face. He wailed to the green tinted sky, howling like his brother wolves.

~~~0~~~

“Oh shit, Chief! Please, wake up!” Jim held Blair in his arms rocking him on the floor of the loft. The spirit wolf had begun to howl in misery and fade away. Blair seemed to answer him with his own wail of anguish as his heartbeat sped up. He sat bolt upright, eyes blind with tears and arms flailing. Jim caught him as he rolled off the couch.

Blair’s legs were tangled in his blanket. His hands grasped Jim’s shirt desperately. He sobbed and muttered a pitiful litany of, “lost, lost, lost.” 

“Shhhh. Blair. Don’t cry. Shhhh. I’ve got you. You are not lost. You’re home, babe. You’re h… home.” Jim’s voice cracked as he tried to comfort his friend.

Finally Blair’s heartbeat returned to normal and his sobs became slight tremors against Jim’s tearstained chest. “That’s it. Blair. Come on back.” Jim felt Blair stir in his tight embrace and allowed him a bit more room. Blair looked up, his blue eyes wide and red-rimmed, confused but aware.

“Jim? What happened? I… I… why am I?” He tried to get up but strong arms stopped him.

“Take it slow, buddy. As far as I can tell, you’ve been on quite a trip. If I didn’t have your spiritual mutt for company, you’d be in the ER right now explaining spirit guides to a doctor.”

“Wha’? You mean I was in a trance? My spirit guide was here? The wolf? In the loft?”

“Got it in one, Darwin. Do you remember anything? It seemed to hit you out of the blue.”

“Green.”

“Huh?” Jim helped Blair to sit on the couch without ever letting go of him. He wove his arm around his still trembling guide and pulled him close to help support him. Blair was still too cold for Jim’s liking. He retrieved the blanket and tucked him in. Blair fussed with the blanket till his hands were free and waving about.

“My… vision was in shades of green. It felt very… personal. A message for me. Usually it’s the blue jungle. Incacha. Sentinel business. I’ve been avoiding it for weeks. Everytime I closed my eyes I saw the fountain and started to slip away. The fountain where I died. That’s where it started. But this time everything was green and lush. I was in my mountains. The ones surrounding Cascade, well spiritually anyway. Pine trees and timber wolves. Snow on the mountaintops.

Jim tightened his grip on his partner. He hated being reminded of Blair’s death, but he knew neither of them had really explored what it meant to them.

“Tell me what you remember, Chief,” Jim said softly.

Blair held nothing back. He spoke in a dreamlike way and Jim was soothed by his tale, until he described when the wolves began to howl and Blair’s eyes filled again with tears.

“I...I don’t know what it means, Jim. I don’t know why it makes me so sad. We’re okay, aren’t we? We’ve got your senses under control. I mean I know I’m sort of… fucked, right now, but we’re still best friends, right?”

“Sure, Chief. We’re okay. My senses are humming. I hardly need you anymore.This is your home for as long as you need it to be. No matter what you end up doing. I’ll make you some tea, buddy.” Jim rose and helped Blair settle on the couch. He tucked him in again and ruffled his hair.

Blair shivered with terror at the carefully chosen words. Jim sounded like he was ready and waiting to coldly shake his hand and wish him a sincere farewell. Blair wanted so much more. But it was all Jim could give him. He closed his eyes fighting the visions that still lingered in the shadows of his mind.

Jim took a deep, calming breath as he prepared Blair’s tea. He wouldn’t let Blair see how terrified he was. Terrified of losing Blair.

~~~0~~~

Blair woke with a start. He was on the couch, a pillow at his head, a cold cup of chamomile tea at his elbow, covered with the warmest wool blanket they always used when one of them was ill. A ringing had wakened him and he leaned back into his comfortable wool cocoon and listened to Jim on the wireless landline.

//Hello, Professor Stoddard.//

Jim sighed. Blair sat up and rubbed at his tired eyes.

//Of course he still lives here. I’m not some barbarian who would…//

Blair smiled and silently asked Jim for the phone with a “gimme” gesture.

//Hold on a moment... Sir.//

Jim covered the receiver. “Blair, you don’t need any aggravation right now. You need to rest. I’ll tell him you’ll call him back…”

“Jim, I can’t afford to alienate the few people in Cascade who are still talking to me. The phone, please.”

Jim was pissed, but handed Blair the phone. He crossed his arms and blatantly listened in.

//Hey, Eli. I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner but… well…// 

//That’s alright, my boy. I must admit I was perturbed at hearing about your disastrous press conference second hand, but what is important now is that you know that I still support you.//

//Thanks. That means the world to me.//

//I know you would never lie, Blair. Or write a work of fiction about a subject so close to your heart. I assume it was some kind of misguided, noble gesture on your behalf. I hope you can and will be able to confide in me about what really happened. I want to help in any way I can, my boy. By the by, how is that neanderthal of a roommate treating you? You know you are always welcome to use our extra room if he gives you any guff.//

Blair smirked and stole a glance at his bristling partner.

//Jim’s been great, Eli. No problem there.//

//Good. Good. He doesn’t deserve you, Blair.//

//Eli…//

//I have some good news for you, my dear. I’ve had a call from an old friend. I told him of your plight and has a job offer for you. Can you drop by my office? I’m working late tonight, or I can see you first thing in the morning.//

Jim whispered, “I’m going with you. No way are you setting foot on that campus alone.” 

Blair rolled his eyes. “Tonight?” he whispered back and Jim nodded grimly.

//Eli, I can come over now, but I’m bringing Jim with me.//

//Really Blair. Must you?//

//Well, my Volvo is dead and Jim doesn’t want me hoofin’ it…//

//Yes. Yes. It’s fine. I suppose this involves him too. See you soon then, dear boy.//

//Bye, Eli. And thanks.//

Blair handed the phone back to Jim who set it back in its holder with a grunt.

~~~0~~~

It was a beautiful night for a drive. The lingering blooms of lilacs scented the air with an affirmation of the sweetness of life. Blair breathed deep and watched the antics of his Sentinel in full ‘Blessed Protector’ mode. Jim’s visage was rock hard. His jaw tight. Moonlight played on his features turning him into a marble statue of a greek god.

“Jim! Chill out, man! You’re gonna turn to stone by the light of the full moon and then who will drag my ass around?”

Jim relaxed slightly. “I told you. Chief. I have your back. You don’t need to take some half-assed job in the middle of nowhere. “

Blair raised his hands to try to placate Jim and stop his tirade. “Hey. I didn’t say I’d take the job. Let’s just hear what Eli has to say, okay? I promise I’ll discuss... whatever... with you before I decide anything.” Blair rubbed at his eyes and sighed.

Jim glanced at Blair. In the darkened cab he looked so frail. Shadows hid his intense blue eyes, making them appear grey and colorless. His lips were slightly swollen from constant bites of worry. His whole profile spoke of long suffering and pain. Jim grasped the wheel tighter. He wanted so badly to touch Blair and force his own strength into his skin. To make him strong and smiling again. Like the old Blair who had bounced into his life and changed it forever.

“You okay, Chief? I gotta tell you, I was really scared when you went into that trance. And it didn’t help that your spirit mutt looked like crap.”

Blair blinked. “What do you mean, like crap?”

Jim shrugged. “He was dragging and his fur was falling out. He looked… miserable. Like he was dying and no one cared. That scared me almost more than your trance. What do you think that means? He can’t really be dying, can he? And what happens when your spirit guide dies?”

Blair was silent for a moment. “It can’t mean anything good, Jim.”

“Blair?”

They had arrived at the fountain. Both men stared into it, the stone whitewashed under the bright spring moon.

“I’m fine, Jim. Let’s just go.”

They made their way to the building without talking. Jim couldn’t help but put a hesitant arm around Blair’s shoulder as they passed the fountain and Blair couldn’t help but lean into his protective embrace.

~~~0~~~

“Blair! My dear, dear, boy! I’m so very glad to see you!” Professor Eli Stoddard, pulled Blair into a fierce bear hug that belied the frail look of the elderly Anthropologist.

Blair smiled and patted his back. “Hey, Eli. I missed you.”

Eli held Blair at arms length and peered appraisingly at him over his wire-rimmed glasses. He glanced at Jim and crinkled his brow. “Detective.” He begrudgingly acknowledged him and Jim nodded back.

Eli obviously didn’t like what he saw. “Detective Ellison, Blair looks terrible! Are you keeping him prisoner in that loft of yours?” Eli petted Blair’s arm, his voice going soft. “Is he feeding you, dearheart? Has he abused you in any way? Don’t be afraid, Blair. I’ll take you home with me. You can have your old room back...”

Blair squeaked out a shocked, “Eli!” 

Jim turned an unhealthy shade of purple. “Why you old bat! How dare you insinuate that I’m harming Blair… I...”

“Well?” Eli stood on his toes, trying to look intimidating. “He’s under your care, isn’t he? Are you trying to kill him again? Once is not enough for you! You...you… blaggard!”

Blair broke free of Eli’s grasp and started to pace frantically between his two friends. “Stop! Stop! Both of you! I’m fine and I’m right here. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Please… I hate… I can’t…” Blair looked as if he were about to pass out. His hands trembled as he held them up to keep his friends from coming to blows.

Eli and Jim exchanged hostile glares, but nodded in agreement that Blair came first.

“Sorry, Chief. It’s okay. Sit down, buddy.”

“Yes, my boy, sit. I’ll behave. I’ll get us some coffee. Alright?”

Blair sighed and sunk in into an office chair. His head was pounding. He leaned forward and held his head in his hands. Jim took another chair and monitored Blair’s body. He didn’t need Sentinel senses to tell Blair was strung out and had a killer headache. Maybe the coffee and some civilized exchanges with Eli would help.

Eli touched Blair’s head gently and offered him a mug fixed just the way he liked it. Jim noticed Eli took one himself, but a third was not forthcoming. “Son-of-a-bitch,” he mumbled Sentinel soft.

“Blair,” Eli ignored Jim, “I told you I had a call from an old friend of mine. He mentioned during our conversation that he was looking for someone very special to work with him this summer. It had to be just the right person. I think that person is you.”

Jim couldn’t hold back, his protective nerve endings crackling. “Whoa! Who is this guy and how long have you known him?”

Eli huffed indignantly. “This ‘guy’ has been my dear friend for over thirty years. He is also in law-enforcement, Detective. He is the Chief of Police of the Wikwemikong Unceded Indian Reserve on Manitoulin Island, Canada. Lou Maengun is looking for an auxiliary constable.”

Jim stood. “Constable? As in police constable?”

“Very astute, Detective. But this job is so much more, Blair. The reservation holds a pow-wow every summer and many bands of the First Nation find their way to the island to celebrate diversity and shared culture. There is also an abandoned ice age dig and caves that have been long studied by anthropologists including myself. Which is how I met Maengun.”

Blair was interested now. “I think I’ve read about the dig on Manitoulin Island. For a while it was thought to predate the known existence of man in the area. But it was argued that the artifacts could have easily been washed ashore by ancient storms. Not unheard of for an island dig. It was basically abandoned, right?”

“Yes. Official interest in the site ran out and was not renewed. Maengun would love to have the help of someone who would understand all aspects of the island in the summer, from tracking down lost kids and crowd control to explaining native history and anthropological finds to tourists. And especially someone who would honor and respect varied cultures. I’ve sent other students to him over the years, Blair, to study North American Indian culture. All have come back with wonderful memories.”

Blair glanced sideways at his pacing Sentinel and tried to ignore the anxiety rolling off of him in waves. “Eli, does your friend know about… what happened?”

“Yes. As I said, he is an old friend. I was upset and I was talking about your situation when he thought to offer you the job. He was thrilled that you had law enforcement experience. He hinted the position could extend beyond the summer if you worked out. He also works very closely with the Ontario Provincial Police. Constable Chad Cote is also an old friend. You should know that Cote and Maengun are partners… in all ways.”

Jim stopped pacing long enough to ask, “You said Canada. Where is this island?”

Blair brightened as his latent teacher abilities came shining through. “It’s located in Lake Huron. Ontario province is the closest land mass. You need to take a ferry from the coast of Ontario to get to it. Or you can fly in.”

“Oh. North of the middle of nowhere,” Jim grumbled.

Eli pressed on. “It’s especially beautiful in the summer. Lush green meadows scattered with wildflowers and orchids. Crystal clear waterfalls and ponds. Caves and pristine beaches. Delightful. If you take the job, Blair, Maengun will cover your expenses and your flight into Ontario. You will take the ferry from there. There will also be lodging at your disposal and an official police vehicle.”

Eli gave Jim a glare. “He mentioned that you may have friends and family come to visit and stay with you, since there are many festivals and fairs going on around the island all summer.”

Blair finished his coffee and rubbed his tired eyes. “When would I have to leave?”

“The sooner the better, Maengun needs the help now.”

“I’ll discuss it with Jim and let you know right away what we decide. Thanks, Eli. Your support really helps.”

~~~0~~~

Jim played with the fire that was beginning to cool till rainbow colored flames danced again. Blair was still on the couch surrounded by candles some of which were hissing and sputtering, rebelling against the end of their lifetime.

The two men had been talking for hours, neither able to sleep. Jim returned to his place by his guide and Blair leaned into him as Jim’s arm pulled him close. They had a silent agreement that when Blair was hurting or Jim was feeling protective, their personal space on the couch was non-existent. Over the years the awkwardness had changed into a comfortable closeness they never questioned. They both needed the contact tonight since they were talking about parting.

Blair’s throat was slightly hoarse from voicing all his logical arguments, pro and con.

“I trust Eli, Jim. At worst I’ll will be glorified summer help. At best I may actually gain some experiences that will help me at the academy.”

“If you decide to actually go to the academy.” Jim tried to keep the disappointment out of his words but failed.

“Jim, I wish I could be enthusiastic about being a rookie cop, but I just can’t. You know that’s not what I’m about. I’m your guide and I have four years of experience plus a lifetime of learning to back up a Sentinel. But a rookie cop? It doesn’t even make sense to anyone else that you are still talking to me. I’ll be lucky to make it through the academy alive and you know it. And you can’t guarantee I’ll be assigned as your partner. I only want to work with you.”

“The Captain and all of Major Crimes is on your side, Chief.”

“I know. But I’m so tired of hiding. I wish I could have some honest truth in my life for once.”

“This coming from the king of misdirection and obfuscation?”

Blair looked up at Jim. They were both bathed in golden light from Blair’s aromatic candles. Their eyes flickered along with the dying flames of the fireplace. Guide and Sentinel, Sentinel and guide, side by side by the embers of a late night fire. As it was in the ageless past it was now. Blair reached up and touched Jim’s cheek, making him frown with concern.

“Chief? You okay?”

“Jim. I don’t want to leave you. But I think I have to do this.”

“Another vision?”

“A… feeling. There is something I need to learn. I don’t know what.”

Smothering a sigh, Jim relented. “Then I guess you better take the job. I’ll run a check on Maengun and Cote just to be sure.”

“Will you come to stay with me as soon as you can? Can you take vacation time or a leave?”

“I’d like that, Blair. But you’re not running away. I know it’s just a summer job. Three months and you’ll be back. But I will miss you, buddy.”

“Jim, please! Say you’ll come. You have to come!”

“Hey! Calm down, Chief. Your heart is racing again. It can’t take this constant workout! And you’re making me crazy. Tell me what is wrong.”

Blair’s blue eyes glowed in the candlelight and Jim held his breath. Blair almost sang his next words. They seemed to come from far away.

“I’ve never been this close to anyone or anything. I can hear your thoughts. I can see your dreams, my Sentinel.” 

Jim felt a chill travel down his spine. His partner was talking, but in his deep resonating, ‘guide’ voice.

“Blair?”

“I must go to the island. Follow the light of the Great Spirit… and find my answers or fade away.”

Blair shook his head and Jim watched as he came back to himself. It was as if he were fading in and out of their reality.

“Blair, what’s going on? Do you know?”

Blair stood quickly and began to pace. “Oh! Wow, man. I just… I just wasn’t here, you know? I was like somewhere else entirely.”

Jim leaned forward on the couch, his hands fell into his lap. “Like a zone-out?”

“Yeah, yeah. But… umm… more like a trance-out. For a moment everything was crystal clear. I retained some of it. Like the conviction to go to the island. And… something else I have to do before I go.”

“What’s that, Chief?”

“Open the closet door.”

“Wha’?”

Blair stopped in front of Jim as if he were before a judge.

“I’m gay, Jim. I’m gay and I... I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you since the day I met you when you pushed me against the wall and cursed me out.” Blair started waving his arms his hands pleading for understanding. “But I swear I respected you, your work and your home. I held back, never crossed the line, but now somehow I can’t hide anymore. I can’t go to the island without you knowing.”

“You...you love me?” Jim blinked in confusion and his face went white with shock. “What...what about all those women?”

“King of misdirection and obfuscation, remember? It was a cover, a farce. They hardly ever ended in slam-bam-thank you ma'am. I just let you and the guys think I was a table leg humping slut. It’s what you all assumed. That’s why some of the women stayed friends with me and some hate my guts.”

“Chief! I know you loved…”

“No. I tried to love a few special ladies. I thought a few times that maybe I was capable of a straight life, like you. But it broke my heart to try. I never had another man after I met you. I knew who I wanted and who I loved.”

Jim swallowed. Blair had just confessed to loving him. Confessed to being more than okay about loving him. He felt a surge of joy that he clamped down on hard. Yes he secretly loved Blair right back. But a gay relationship was beyond him. He wanted what they had now. He wanted Blair to be by his side. To look up to him and share his home. He wanted Blair to be his to protect and keep healthy and warm. But anything more was out of the question. He looked up at Blair wringing his hands before him. 

“But why not tell me, Chief? So you were gay, you should have just told me the first day. What would I care if some crazy ass anthropologist posing as a doctor was gay? That would have been just one more weird thing about you. You would have still saved my life and helped me.”

“You never would have asked me to be your partner, Jim. Never let me live here or get close. And the captain would not have signed off my ride along pass. I never would have been accepted by Major Crimes.”

“How do you know that? It would have made no difference!”

“Jim. It would have made all the difference in the world. I know it. I’ve lived it. I’m not brave and courageous like some gay men. I was deep in the closet. I could never deal with the hate. I couldn’t deal with therapists telling me they could cure me and Naomi’s gurus telling me it was natural while trying to get in my pants. I just buried the real me under smart remarks and layers of flannel. Everyone always assumed my sexuality was whatever they were personally comfortable with.”

“I’ve always been a chameleon. It’s a defense mechanism, I know. But a good one. It’s amazing how little people actually care to get to know me. The real me. I’ve never been promiscuous with men, Jim. The few affairs I've had, I always thought I was in love and never… well, I was very safe. I’ve actually chose celibacy most of my life.”

Jim stood and towered over Blair, his hands now held tightly in fists. His face frighteningly hard. He was torn between anger at the omission and a strange jealousy that Blair had been with other men. Had been in love with other men.

“You little shit! You can stand there and tell me you think we wouldn’t have been friends? That I wouldn’t have let you be my guide? That’s what you think of me?”

“From my experiences in the past, I think you would have been a very indulgent, platonic friend. But you would never would have touched me, never would have let me into your well-guarded heart. You would never have let yourself love me even the way you do. It’s okay, Jim. I’m not pushing you for anything more than you can give. I’m so grateful for your friendship, man...”

Jim took up pacing again. His emotions were churning in his gut. Shock, fear, anger, jealousy and surprisingly relief all fighting to take over. Blair loved him. Blair was gay. He looked crossways at Blair. He was shaking, wide eyes full of pain old and new. Waiting for his condemnation.

Jim considered himself liberal to a point. He had befriended a few gay men in his time. One of his lost men in Peru was gay, and he loved him and mourned him like the others. He recognized the bravery of coming out to a hostile world. How impossibly hard it was to come out to your friends and family. He tried to calm himself and honor Blair’s courage. 

“Who else knows, Blair. Naomi?” 

“Naomi might have guessed. One of my therapists or one of her friends might have clued her in, but I never told her. She never confronted me. She was never around when I was struggling with my sexual identity and nursing a series of broken hearts. I’ve told only a handful of people in my life. I’ve never had a best friend before who I trusted enough to tell. I told my male lovers over the years, obviously.” Blair snorted, “although a few of them never let me get to the talking stage. I told a few women I dated that guessed or deserved to know. And Eli.”

Jim was suddenly jealous that anyone knew Blair’s secret. He wanted to hold it close and examine it for himself. Discover what it could mean to him alone.

“Eli knows? That crazy old coot?” A sudden thought froze him in place. Blair had known Eli since he was a teenager. “He never… touched you did he?” 

“What?Jim! No! This is what I mean. I tell you I’m gay and suddenly I must be a pervert with a traumatic past. Eli Stoddard has known me since Naomi dropped me off at the campus of Rainier the summer I was fifteen. Eli and his wife Mae volunteered to be my temporary guardians. Yours wasn’t the only cupboard under the stairs I lived in. They were like my grandparents, Jim. Mae always said she wanted to adopt me formally, but I couldn’t do that to Naomi.” 

“Mae was wonderful. She was always there for me with tea and cookies and a listening ear, a real old-fashioned grandma,” he added in a wistful tone.

“I stayed with them till I was ready to live in a dorm. And when things got rough they always had a hot meal and a bed waiting for me. Mae passed away ten years ago, now. Eli re-married, just before I met you. I was his best man. But he still thinks of me as his and Mae’s grandson, his ‘dear boy’. I love that crazy old coot, man. And yes I told him and Mae I was gay when I was sixteen. They supported me through some bad times, like no one else ever had.”

Jim nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I’m glad you had someone, Chief. I’d have liked to have known Mae.” 

Blair nodded, then grew still. He looked Jim in the eye. “Jim, Eli has guessed you are a Sentinel.”

“What? You told him?”

“No! He knew everything about my research, including the fact that I had heard of someone with five heightened senses. I never told him you were a Sentinel. He figured it out. And swore to keep your secret.”

“Sure. Until the day I piss you off and you leave. Then all bets are off, right? Angry aged anthropologist runs to the press to avenge his pseudo-grandson? He hates me, Blair!”

Jim’s angry badass persona won the fight for his emotions. He reached for his trembling guide and pushed him roughly against the hard, brick wall of the loft. Blair grimaced as his head and back hit the unforgiving surface. Jim dug his fingers into Blair’s upper arms causing him to squirm and try to push Jim with his waving hands to get away from the pain. 

Jim spoke through gritted teeth. “You fucking bastard! I let you into my life. I told you all my secrets. I called you my friend, best friend. I took you in gave you a home, a safe place to live and grow. I cared for you. I shared my dreams with you. Fuck! I brought you back from the blue jungle.”

Blair was crying now. His eyes half-closed and his body shaking. “Y… you’re right, Jim. You did, you did. But I gave to you too. I’ve protected you as best I could the only way I knew how. I saved your mental health and your life. I’ve loved you every minute. I refuse to apologize for loving you with all my heart and soul.”

Jim tilted his head and pushed Blair against the wall again squinting at the huffed hot breath in his face. Jim’s features slowly morphed from badass to vulnerable and back to hardass. He let Blair go and backed away. Trying to ignore the sounds of pain and anguish coming from his guide.

Jim sat back on the couch holding his head in his hands. “What the fuck do we do now, Chief?”

Blair wiped his eyes with his sleeve then rubbed the pain from his upper arms.

“Why does this change everything, Jim? Why can’t people accept what I am? Why don’t I deserve what every human being deserves? To be loved and accepted for myself?”

“Fuck, Chief… I...”

Blair held up a hand. “Rhetorical questions, man. I know the answers. I live the answers. I’ll take the job in Canada. I’ll be out of here in a few days. Maybe we can both decide what we want and can live with if we aren’t together all the time.”

Jim’s mind was reeling from his wild emotional ride. He couldn’t leave it as it was. “Sorry for getting angry, Chief. That’s not the way I hoped I would react to something like this. I’m blown away. I do need time to think. But I will visit you, okay?”

Blair managed a quick smile. “I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you. More than anything I want to remain your friend and guide. I’d leave a light on for you in Canada, but you don’t need it. You don’t need anything, I know.”

Jim looked up at the sound of Blair’s bedroom door closing and the salty scent of his guide’s misery. His essence, usually so sweet to Sentinel senses, was fading already. Jim heard Blair hit his clock radio as he often did when he was too upset to fall asleep. Jim recognized a song that Blair had tried to sing in the truck. Jim smiled at the memory from a few months ago after they closed a tough case and Blair had a few too many beers. Blair was singing at the top of his lungs out the window, getting half of the words wrong, but the meaning right. He was flushed, his hair dancing in the fresh April breeze.

Every time our eyes meet  
This feeling inside me  
Is almost more than I can take  
Baby, when you touch me  
I can feel how much you love me  
And it just blows me away

I've never been this close to anyone or anything  
I can hear your thoughts  
I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you

The song was cut off abruptly with a curse from Blair and the loft was silent again. Jim rose wearily and headed for the balcony. He knew Blair remembered that night too. Blair had a few more beers at home and giggled as he sang other songs to him till he fell asleep in Jim’s lap. Jim had watched him sleep and played with his silky curls for hours lightly zoned on the many shades of color he could see.

Jim opened the balcony door and stepped out. The sky began to fill with the light of the false dawn. A single bird stuttered to life before all of its kin. Jim whispered quietly, the tune still playing in his head. The lone bird sang along giving the words a trill of hope. 

I wanna spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you

Blair loved him. Maybe he could find a way to let go of a lifetime of repression and macho values and tell him he loved him too. Or better yet find a way to keep Blair near just the way it had always been. He’d have a long and lonely summer to work on a solution.


	2. Chapter Two

Blair leaned against the guide rail of the ferry enraptured by the view. The air seemed full of clouds and the constant mist refreshed his heated skin. It had been hot at the airport and the shuttle to the Manitoulin Island Ferry warm and close. He pulled the leather band from his hair and let it fly. He closed his eyes, briefly enjoying the brisk breeze on his neck. He felt like he was sailing on a liquid glass bowl, high in the clouds. The blue-gray water spiraled out around him until he spied a mossy green mass on the horizon, partially hidden by a light blue fog. 

As they came closer to the island, a lighthouse appeared and the sound of clanking buoys and raucous gulls filled his ears. The lighthouse reminded Blair of Jim, tall and alone endlessly guarding its island. Not for the first time he wished Jim could be here beside him. But Jim was far from him now and the very molecules of his body were reminding him of the loss he felt.

He had told Jim he loved him. He should be happy nothing had changed between them. But in truth, he was devastated that nothing had changed between them. He couldn’t help but wonder why his love, his very being, was inconsequential to the world. He shook his curls and headed back into the passenger cabin for a cup of coffee. He wanted to be alert when he met his new boss at the ferry landing.

Blair debarked a half-hour later. His hair was once again tightly under control and tucked into the collar of his leather jacket. Blair had his old travelling backpack slung over his shoulder and one hand led a brand new suitcase on wheels, a going away present from Jim and the guys at Major Crimes. He smiled down at the cartoon stickers each of his colleagues had permanently stuck on the black vinyl. Dudley Do-right on his horse, Inspector Fenwick, little Nell and Snidely Whiplash to threatening them all. Bullwinkle J. Moose holding Rocky the flying squirrel, ready to throw him into the air was added by Jim. He was relieved Canadian customs hadn’t taken offense.

Blair spotted a likely candidate for his boss striding towards him. The man was thin as a rail and tall as a pine. In jeans, plaid shirt and boots, he could have been waiting for anyone at the terminal. But his features were that of an ancient warrior, chin lifted high with pride. His black hair threaded with grey and hanging to his waist told of his heritage, as did the simple beaded leather band around his head. His thin mouth held the hint of a smile as he raised an eyebrow and assessed Blair with deep brown eyes. 

“Mr. Sandburg, I presume?” 

Blair nodded. Blair knew the man was sixty-something, but his bearing was strong and full of life. He looked vaguely familiar. Blair smiled back awkwardly, not knowing whether a handshake was appropriate. 

A hand did reach out and Blair shook it with relief, ignoring the slight tingle when their hands joined.

“Police Chief Maengun? Aanii. Aniish na?” Blair said what he hoped was ‘hello and how are you’ in the Ojibwe language. 

The tall man raised the other brow, impressed by Blair’s effort. “Boozhoo! I am he and I am well. Eli has told me much about you, Mr. Sandburg.”

“Call me Blair, please.”

“Hum. Well, I’d rather call you Mr. Sandburg while the sun shines today. It tempts the spirits to reveal your real name so soon and in so crowded an area. I promised Eli I would not let you come to harm in any way.”

Blair took no offense at the odd request and gave a real smile this time, charmed by the man’s voice and manner. “Seems I can’t get away from ‘Blessed Protectors’ no matter how far from home I am.”

His new boss chuckled deep in his throat, seeming to understand completely. “You must be a treasure, then. I am glad to have you on my island. Come, my ride is right outside.”

Maengun led Blair to an antique Ford pickup circa 1965. The brick red beauty was in mint condition.

“Oh! Man! This is gorgeous! You’ve even got the original hood ornament.”

“I am glad you like old cars. This one was mine originally. I drove it till rusted pieces were falling off every time I hit a bump. But when I got stranded in a blizzard once too often, my partner bought me a jeep and started to restore this truck to its former glory. It really belongs to my partner, Chad Cote, now. He treats it like our only child. I had to pry the keys from his trembling hands this morning.”

Blair chuckled as he threw his suitcase and backpack into the truck bed and climbed in the passenger side. He thought of Jim's old two toned, blue and white beauty. He missed that truck. He missed Jim. “Sounds like my partner back at Cascade PD. He had a ‘69 Ford pick-up. I’ve got a vintage Volvo. Dependable, when it’s running.”

Maengun settled in the driver’s seat. “I’m sure Eli has told you that Constable Cote is my partner at work and in life. He will technically be your superior officer also since we work hand in hand with the O.P.P. If this will bother you I would like to know now. Although I do not expect for you to ever be in danger, I must know you would backup my partner and myself without hesitation. I will have you swear this when you take your oath as constable this evening.”

Blair was moved by the devotion he could see in Maengun’s eyes. “I’ve backed up my partner Jim for four years now. I’ve had my share of close calls defending him and my Captain and the other members of my team. I would never hesitate to defend you and this island, like I defended Cascade.” 

Blair took a deep breath and did something he never thought he would ever do, he outed himself to a stranger. But he felt compelled to do it. “I happen to be gay… although I don’t usually mention it at work and I’m not… in a relationship right now… or interested in starting one,” he added thinking of Jim.

Maengun nodded solemnly as if Blair had given him a precious gift. “Thank you for your honesty. I am sure you will be happy here. I spoke to your Captain Banks briefly after Eli sent me his phone number in an e-mail about your experience and references. The Captain praised you most sincerely. He said you were a courageous and astute individual with a caring heart and a devotion to service. He said he held you in as high regard as any officer under him and it was a privilege to work with you.”

Blair swallowed. He could hardly believe what he was hearing. “Simon… my… my Captain said that?”

Maengun smiled his thin half-smile. “And more. I am afraid if you so much as stub your toe I will be, quote, ‘in a world of hurtin’. A resounding recommendation, do you not think so?”

Blair smiled and lowered his eyes. “Wow,” he murmured.

Maengun started the engine. “I will explain the job you are expected to do when we get to my office. For now, I will give you a tour and show you where you will stay.”

For an hour or so Blair enjoyed the vistas of the Island. The Island was surprisingly hilly, with deep woodland areas. He glimpsed breathtaking views of the big water’s blue against white beaches and rocky cliffs. Now that the fog had lifted, the sun played with the surface of the bays, making them shimmer with silver highlights. Again Blair had a feeling of being at the top of the world nestled in the heavens as if he could scale a hill, climb on a cloud and float away. 

Maengun turned towards the town of Manitowaning on the east side of the island, a stone’s throw from the Wikwemikong First Nation Reserve. They stopped at a restaurant called Loco Beanz Cafe’. Maengun ordered them both seafood salad sandwiches made with fresh local fish, sweet potato fries and coffee. Blair noticed his new boss didn’t ask what he might like, just ordered what was best. Just like the father of a prodigal son would.

The last stop before Maengun’s office was Blair’s home for the summer. They turned the pickup onto an old sandy road dotted with old-fashioned tourist cabins and pulled into what looked like a vintage cabin rental office from the ‘50’s. Inside was a refurbished modern real estate office. They had kept the squeaky screen door, white pine floors and the glass block service counter. There were a few displays of candy and chips for sale near the door. An antique Canada Dry cooler the size of a fridge held ice cold soda for passing tourists and residents. The walls were covered with local seaside antiques and yellowed pictures of happy visitors enjoying island life.

Maengun introduced Blair as the Island’s newest Constable with fatherly pride. The receptionist and the two real estate agents broke out in smiles and greetings. Blair ate up the attention. Each treated him with the respect commanded by his title, along with a friendly handshake. It was so different from how he was treated in Cascade, he had to swallow a lump in his throat before he offered his sincere thanks. A key was sought then found and Maengun pulled Blair away from his inquisitive well wishers and out the door. A short walk down the road Blair was blown away by the sight. His new home was an old, yet well-maintained cabin. It featured a porch with hand honed wood furniture and a spectacular view of Manitowaning Bay. 

Blair admired the view along with a black and red Jeep that was only a few years old and all his. He turned his key in the door to the cabin and smiled at the sight that greeted him. One large open room held the living room, fireplace and dining area. It was sparsely furnished, but impeccably clean. A small but efficient kitchenette hugged the back wall. On each side of the cabin was a bedroom. The right side bedroom held bunk beds and a roll away cot. The left side was a little bigger with a full size bed and adjacent bathroom. The rustic home was simple yet beautiful, with polished wood floors, bright native rugs, knotty pine cabinets and huge log beams stretching overhead. 

Blair was suddenly overwhelmed. His head ached and he felt a sadness that made it hard to breathe. Without thought he clung to his boss who in turn patted his head and sighed deep and long. A warm current passed between them, giving Blair an odd sense of belonging. Blair blushed and stammered out a “Thank you. This means so much to me.”

“Mr. Sandburg, I feel you will be a great asset to our Island. Eli has spoken of you with a love and pride that could not increase if you were his very own. You must excuse me if I act overly familiar and a bit protective of you. You must have guessed by now that he sends you to me and my island partially to help you renew your zest for life after your troubles. I fear you are very weary from the battles you have fought. I hope you will grow in health and strength while you are here with us. You are no longer alone.” 

Maengun headed to the door, then turned back to Blair. “Refresh yourself. I have given you directions to my office. I will meet you there at six. The kitchen has been stocked but do not eat dinner. I’m afraid my staff has arranged a small after swearing in party for you. I’m sure you will survive it with luck.”

Blair followed him out onto the porch and waved goodbye. “Eli, how much have you told him?” he asked the clouds.

As Blair showered, he enjoyed the plentiful hot water. His heart pinged on the thought that he didn’t need to leave some for Jim.

He decided to wear his hair loose and free, since it was obviously a non-issue at this police department. He dressed in a casual sport jacket, pants and shirt in shades of blue that Jim had bought him so he would make a good first impression at his new job. Blair decided to wear the matching tie just this once. As he played with his Windsor knot in the mirror he flashbacked to Jim standing behind him awkwardly teaching him to make it while muttering and cursing at Blair’s wayward curls.

Just then, Blair gasped at the image he saw in his mirror. A shadowy Jim stood tall, silent and bare from the waist up, behind him. A slow, sad smile flickered on his face. Blair smiled back and turned finding nothing but late afternoon sunlight making moving tree shadows on the wall.

Blair shuddered. He felt lightheaded. “Great! I’m having visions of Jim now. Just what I need,” he complained as he finished dressing.

~~~0~~~

Blair fell in love with his Jeep as he navigated Wikwemikong Way and entered the reserve. He pulled up in front of the low brick building that housed the Wikwemikong Tribal Police. Maengun’s pick-up, another Jeep like Blair’s and a black SUV with ‘POLICE’ emblazoned on its rear doors took up most of the available parking spaces.

He parked his Jeep alongside its twin in a spot that seemed destined to be his. He took care to look cool and pull, not push, the heavy glass door. He smiled at the receptionist, a motherly woman, at the front desk. She was talking on the phone, asking another caller to hold, writing out Post-It notes and typing on a computer keyboard all at the same time. It didn’t stop her from greeting Blair.

“Boozhoo, Mr. Sandburg! Beindigain, welcome to Wiky. I’m Mrs.Tremblay but you can call me Gem, everyone does. Wolf, I mean, Chief Maengun is expecting you. Go on in!”

Blair followed her waving hand into the island’s equivalent of the Major Crimes bullpen. File cabinets and metal desks and chairs, along with typical office equipment and personal momentos, filled the space. The back area was partitioned off and held what looked like a conference room and the Police Chief's office. The Chief’s office door was open and several deep voices along with feminine laughter floated out. Blair straightened his tie, fluffed his hair and secured his courage as he walked forward to meet his new co-workers.

“Aanii!” Blair was glad his voice was sounding strong. “I’m here, Chief Maengun.”

“Good!” Maengun rose from his impressive leather chair. “Mr. Sandburg, allow me to introduce the best police team on the island, Constable Michel Morin, formerly of the Vancouver Police...” 

“Call me Mo.” Blair shook the beefy hand of a stocky but strong man in his early-thirties. He wore the dark blue uniform that Blair would soon wear. Black short boots, dark blue pants and an open collar short sleeve work shirt. Patches with the words Wikwemikong Tribal Police surrounding a colorful feathered dream catcher with a background of pines and lake graced the sleeves and the front of his dark blue brimmed cap. The cap kept Mo’s curly auburn hair somewhat under control, but his striking green eyes were taking in everything.

Mo moved almost imperceptibly in front of his partner as if he wanted to get between her and Blair. Wolf continued his introductions. “And this is Constable Victoria Arisostome. She grew up on the Sheshegwaning reserve on West Bay and is of the Odawa band.”

Blair was glad he had searched the internet for information about Manitoulin Island’s indigenous peoples. He had known some facts about the First Nations of Canada from his studies and was thrilled to add to his knowledge. His doctorate might be a shattered dream, but no one could keep his anthropologist heart from seeking new knowledge.

The tribes or bands of native people on Manitoulin lived on an unceded reserve. Meaning, they had never once entered a treaty with Canada to gain control of their lands. Blair was working at the eastern reserve, but Arisostome grew up a few miles away on the western reserve. They had a police force of their own. Manitowaning, where Blair’s cabin was located, was also the home of the OPP, Ontario Provincial Police. OPP did not have jurisdiction on tribal lands, but they worked together in harmony, usually.

The tall, stately woman before him was a great beauty. She leaned on the corner of the Chief’s desk, her arms and long legs crossed. Her long black hair was braided down her back, her dark eyes shone with amusement as she glanced at Mo. She briefly waved her welcome with one lazy hand.

”You can call me, Riso.” She looked Blair up and down with a perceptive glance and Blair swore he felt the prickly feeling of having his heartbeat monitored like Jim always did. She addressed Maengun over her shoulder. “Watch out for this one, Wolf. He looks like trouble waiting to happen.” Then she smiled sweetly to ease the bite of the remark.

“Back off, Riso,” ‘Wolf’ chided. “He hasn’t been sworn in or given a name yet.”

“Are we going to wait for the Mountie? He always comes up with the best names.”

Gem entered just then and placed a note on the desk. “Mountie’s going to be late, Wolf. He says go on without him and send his apologies.”

Maengun glanced at the note and frowned. “Seems my partner will be running late, Mr. Sandburg. As I mentioned before, we have a tradition at this station based on an ancient spiritual belief that a name is a powerful force. Especially if someone is a spirit dreamer or shaman of the tribe. A tribe would protect a shaman by never using his real name. We deal with strangers and miscreants, so as a sort of good luck charm we never call each other by our real name. Maengun means wolf, so that is what I am called and I’m told it fits me. You may call me Wolf except when the OPP Commissioner is sniffing around. It may seem trivial and comical, but so are most traditions.”

Blair’s wide open eyes shone. “No, no. Tradition gives vibrancy and a sense of history to a culture. I like your tradition. As a matter of fact, at Cascade PD, I was starting to think no one knew my first name. I was called anything but.”

Riso smirked and tilted her head. “That’s funny, I thought Mountie made that spiritual stuff up so he could call Wolf sweetheart names in French.”

“Riso!” Wolf warned.

Her laughter sounded like copper chimes. “Well, I did! So let’s get on with it.”

Wolf took Blair by the arm and placed him where he wanted him to stand. All six foot of Riso stood at attention next to her slightly shorter partner. They both wore serious expressions without a hint of a smile. Gem came to join them with her hands folded as if in silent prayer.

Wolf cleared his throat. At his command to raise his right hand, Blair complied. 

“Do you solemnly swear to enforce the laws and uphold the traditions of the Wikwemikong unceded reserve and the tribal bands that it enfolds?” Wolf challenged him.

“I do.” Blair was quite moved. He found himself wishing Jim could see him. The neo-hippie witch doctor taking an oath to serve and protect.

“Do you swear to protect the innocent and stand beside your fellow constables in times of need even unto death?”

“I do.” Blair’s voice was rich and deep in the silent room.

“Then, as the Chief of Police of the Wikwemikong Tribal Police, I induct you as Auxiliary Constable.” Wolf pronounced.

He then pinned a gold shield with the insignia of the police and the word ‘Constable’ stamped in black letters to Blair’s lapel. He smiled and embraced him as the others cheered and clapped while Mo snapped a few pictures for posterity.

“Hey, Mo?” Blair asked shyly. “Can I get an extra copy of the best shot to send back... home?” Thinking of Jim again, he wondered if, in reality, he’d have a home to go back to.

“Sure thing. Welcome to the family.” Mo winked and continued to take some candid shots.

After a few minutes Gem took possession of his arm and led him away. “We have tons of food in the conference room. Let’s eat. You look like a strong wind would send you flying south with the ducks.” She leaned in and whispered, “And lose the tie. It makes everyone nervous.”

Several hours later, a newly minted and tieless Constable Sandburg was feeling full and content. Gem had just about force fed him her rich and wholesome chicken and dumplings. Riso and Mo were regaling him with the most outrageous stories about life at Wiky that they could think of. The Chief added a comment or correction here and there as he ate Gem’s homemade pie made with local grown hawberries. 

When Blair spoke about his own adventures they all listened intently. Every story seemed to add to their regard for him. Riso teased and Mo cracked jokes, but Blair never felt belittled. It was like being in a parallel universe, one where Blair Jacob Sandburg was admired and treated as an equal. He’d never understood before how good that could feel.

The soiree’ was interrupted by a loud voice coming from the reception area. The sound of stomping boots headed towards the conference room. “Ou’ est tout le monde? Mon petit loup? Mon rayon de soleil? Wolfie? I hope I am not too late.”

Blair gasped as the tall man entered. The room began to swirl and fill with a greenish light and Blair started to shiver. A shimmering black wolf was by the newcomer’s side - an animal that no one else seemed to see. Blair watched the wolf turn to him with calm, golden eyes. “Oh! No! Not now, not here,” Blair whispered.

The man was larger than life. And anyone could tell his life was rich and full. He wore knee high black boots and a similar uniform as the Wiky crew, but the dark pants had a royal blue stripe down the side and the shirt was formal, a more informal bolo tie was around the neck held in a silver and turquoise clasp. The uniform insignias spelled out OPP and their loyalty to the Queen in no uncertain terms. A Mountie hat perched on the mountainous man’s snow white hair. 

The big man walked straight over to the Wiky Chief of Police and kissed him with gusto. The wolf jumped into the Chief’s chest. Blair was startled at the odd sight but the Chief only sighed in relief. “Je t’adore,” the odd Mountie whispered, ignoring the others who acted as if this happened everyday. “I missed you, mon amour.”

The newcomer looked around the room while stroking the Chief’s long hair. “Qui est-ce petit Bohème? Is this your new constable?” He spoke in a lilting French-Canadian accent, moving without a care from French to English.

Riso clapped her hands in delight. “Boheme, Bohemian. It’s perfect for you Sandburg! I knew Mountie would find your name.”

Mo added, “Riso, Mo and Bo. I like it. What do you think, Wolf?”

Blair shook his head to clear it of dizziness he’d felt since Chad Cote had entered the room with, apparently, Maengun’s spirit animal in tow. He tried to keep himself together as he focused on Maengun addressing him and Cote smiling brightly. 

“Mr. Sandburg? Do you object to the nickname Bo?”

“No, no. I like it very much. It’s much better than some I’ve had. Th...thank you all for giving me such a warm welcome. I appreciate it.” Blair hoped no one noticed his hands shaking from cold as the room seemed to fill with a green mist.

Chad Cote walked briskly towards him and he took a half step back. “I am so sorry i missed your swearing in. The ceremony always bring a tear to my eye. Reminds me of my youth and the RCMP. And finding Wolfie, ‘ma raison de vivre’.”

“I am Chad Cote or Mountie to my friends. I am Constable first class of the OPP and the devoted husband of your Chief of Police.” Cote took Blair’s hand in both his own to belatedly but enthusiastically welcome him.

As their hands joined, Blair felt a green bolt of lightning spread through Blair’s body. “Bo? Bo?” He heard Mountie call to him before all went black.

Mountie looked over his shoulder at the others. “Something is wrong with him. Bo! Sandburg!” Mountie grabbed Blair as his eyes rolled back in his head. The big man picked Blair up before he hit the floor and managed to carry him to the couch in the Chief’s office.

~~~0~~~

Before he could take a breath to cry out, Blair found himself at the fountain where he had once drowned. He was flat on his back on the grass by the trickling water. He heard a whimper and realized his wolf spirit animal had joined him. 

Blair dug his fingers in the warm grey fur and was surprised when handfuls of fur came out in his hand. He sat up and took his wolf’s muzzle in his hands. He gazed into the animal’s blue eyes.

“What’s wrong, buddy? Are you sick? Am… am I sick?” 

The wolf whined softly and licked Blair’s face. But then he stopped abruptly as the beautiful black animal Blair had seen with Mountie approached to drink from the fountain. Blair’s wolf perked up his ears and began to wag his tail. The black wolf nuzzled and pawed at his grey brother playfully. Then Blair’s wolf stretched out on the lawn and sighed. The black wolf started to lick him about the head and ears as if he were wounded, a possessive paw was thrown over his back to keep him still.

The fountain slowly faded and Blair found himself sitting as if in meditation on the banks of a great lake. On the far shore was a jungle. A tall man in army fatigues beckoned to him from across the lake and Blair smiled as he recognized him. 

“Jim!”

Blair wanted to join him, but he had no boat to cross the water. Then Blair noticed he was covered with wounds. He found himself surrounded by wolves of every size and color. They gently pulled him away to lick his wounds as if to treat them, but the wounds refused to heal. So the wolves stopped licking him, Instead, they started to howl. Blair looked at his hands. He was fading away. 

Across the lake Jim was joined by Riso and Mountie dressed in deerskins and clutching empty bows. They hung their heads as if in mourning.

“Noooooooooooo!” Blair screamed. 

Jim just covered his ears.


	3. Chapter Three

Jim covered his ears against the noise and looked around for Simon. The upscale sports bar he took him to after work wasn’t really loud since the Jags weren’t playing that night. But Jim was already having trouble with his dials. He’d been okay after he saw Blair off on his flight earlier in the day, but after a few beers with his friend and captain, the mostly Sinatra and friends jukebox sounded like a Judas Priest concert at full volume.

“There you go, Jim.” Simon plopped down another long cold one in front of him. Simon had switched to Perrier water for this round. He was planning on driving Jim home later and maybe even staying on his couch. He was that worried about the Sentinel.

“Jim, turn the dials down or whatever voo-doo shit Sandburg tells you to do. I’ll have to cut you off and take you home if you can’t even handle your senses in here.”

Jim sighed and closed his eyes. He concentrated on his hearing dials. He heard Blair’s soft voice in his head and smiled with relief as the dials began to move. He opened his eyes to the dark bar and the concerned look behind the gold-rimmed glasses of his boss.

“Sorry, Simon. I can handle it. It’s just that when Sandburg’s next to me, it works automatically. I haven’t had to actually concentrate on control in a long time. One word, one touch from Sandburg and everything hums.”

Simon brought the green bottle of sparkling water to his lips and took a sip. “You and Sandburg are my best team and my best friends. I hate to see you two separate. Jim, I spoke to Sandburg’s new boss. He seemed like a man of integrity. And very eager to have Sandburg on his team. Too eager for my liking. What will you do if Sandburg decides to stay past the summer?”

“I honestly don’t know, Simon. I miss him already and it hasn’t even been a day! I was looking in the mirror when I was waiting for you and I swear I saw him tying his tie, badly, and shaking out his hair. How do I deal with missing Blair so much I imagine him still in the loft?”

“This is hard to say, Jim. But what does the kid have to come back to? I mean, sure, we all hope he goes to the academy and comes back to work with you. But is that idea really viable? Sandburg burned his bridges with the Commissioner. Bad PR is not something he forgives and forgets. I don’t know what kind of razzle dazzle I can pull off to get the kid back as your partner. It may not be possible.”

“I could admit that I’m a Sentinel. I could admit that Blair is the reason I can do what I do. I could drag him out from my shadow and put him in the light where he belongs.”

“I don’t know, Jim. It’s a courageous idea, but would the kid want you to do that? He would never agree to you putting yourself in danger and neither would I. He gave up everything for you to be safe. You know that don’t you?”

“Of course I do! He gave up everything for me, right from the beginning. He changed his whole life for me. I never gave up a thing. Never even rearranged my huge loft with all that space to give him more than a cupboard to live in. Never rearranged my life for him. He gave me his soul and heart…”

“Jim?”

“He loves me, Simon. He’s been in love with me since day one.”

Simon leaned back sighing deeply. He began to play with a soggy cocktail napkin. “He finally told you, huh. Before he left?”

Jim straightened and held his beer with both hands like a lifeline. “You knew?”

“I guessed. Then I observed. After the press conference I was convicted. It was that look of lost hope in his eyes. Only love can tear you apart like that.” Simon leaned in and took another drink from his bottle. “I’m his captain, Jim. I knew he was gay and you’d have to be blind not to see his devotion to you. I was allowed to read the doctor’s findings from his physical. They routinely take a blood test for HIV and STD’s these days. The doctor noted on the form that Sandburg disclosed he was was a homosexual, but not in a relationship. He doesn’t know I know.” 

Jim’s blue eyes opened wide his mouth opened in surprise. “You didn’t think it was an issue? You let him ride with me anyway?”

“Fuck, Jim. Did you ever read the kid’s resume? He’s a fucking genious! He could have applied to be a profiler or a forensic anthropologist. But instead he asks to be an unpaid observer in my department just to be near you. And he’s some sort of magical pixie. He healed my best detective with a wave of his hand. I may have hassled him to keep him in line and keep him alive. It was tough love but it was love nonetheless. He was under my protection, too. I thought between the both of us we could keep him out of harm’s way. I was dead wrong.”

“Yeah. We both sucked at keeping him safe.”

Simon took out a cigar and stared longingly for a brief moment at the matches and ashtray on the table. He contented himself with holding on to it for later. He looked at Jim over the rim of his glasses. ”Did you admit to the kid you loved him, too?”

Jim shook his head. “I’m not gay…”

Simon grunted. “Fuck, Jim. You waaaaay back there? I’ve been handling this fuckin’ Sentinel shit for years, man! I can’t believe I’m ahead of you. You and Sandburg are on another level. Gay, straight, all that macho prejudice just doesn’t apply. The rules of physics don’t apply. Hell, the rules of nature don’t apply. You brought the kid back from the dead, Jim. The dead! And I witnessed it. I’ve been struggling with that little tid-bit since it happened.”

Jim nodded and finished his beer. He wiped his lips with his hand and said softly, “I know you have.”

“I’m not a religious man, but I had me a grandma who was on speaking terms with the man upstairs. She used to tell me miracles are all around us if we only look for them. I saw a miracle, man. Our crazy little hippie was dead. I was privileged to see the miracle of the love between you two pull his very soul from the grave. My grandma said God had many names and faces, but all of them shone with love. I know I was involved in this miracle for a reason. And this might just be it.”

Jim listened intently to what Simon was saying. 

“Love him, Jim, with everything you’ve got. Give him everything he needs. Fight for him. He belongs by your side. Bring him back and bring him home. Never let him go again.”

Jim wiped his hand over his face, then leaned back in his seat.

“I fucked up, Simon.”

Simon chuckled. “Yep. You sure did.”

“I’m gonna need some time off.”

Simon smirked. “As long as you bring Constable Sandburg with you when you return.”

“Constable Sandburg. I bet he’s been sworn in already. I wish I could have seen that.”

“Me, too. I wish I could have sworn him in myself, made him an official part of our team.” Simon averted his eyes for a moment, frowned as if he was puzzled, then snapped his fingers.

“I just had an idea. Jim. Maybe you should let him get settled and put in some time on the job before you show up. If he’s already a Constable in Canada, I may be able to get him transferred after he fulfills his duties, especially if he does well and they offer him a full time position…”

“You mean like Megan was? Foreign exchange… or something?”

“Maybe. I’ll need time to figure it out. And soften up the Chief of Police and Commissioner.”

“Hell, I guess I could give him some time. He deserves some time away from my drama. I need some time to wrap my head around the idea that I love a man. But I do, Simon. I do. I have to make this right. I’ve done so much damage.” 

Simon raised his hand to stop him. “Jim. This is Sandburg. That kid would forgive you anything. You can do no wrong in his eyes. You tell him you love him, that you want him and he’ll bounce to the moon and back and never stop bouncing till you grab him and....” 

Now Jim raised his hand. “Whoa, Simon. Too much. Too soon. Let me just have that bouncing image for right now. I gave him a pay-as-you-go phone, activated it and filled up his minutes before he left. I’ll arrange to call him every couple of days. Make sure he’s doing well. Then I’ll know when to plan a trip.”

Simon rose to get another drink as Jim ignored him and found his phone. Simon watched Jim’s face as the phone rang several times and then went to voicemail. “Jim, there’s a time difference. He may be asleep or he may not get reception on the reserve.”

“Yeah. He never turned on his voicemail. I can’t leave a message. He may not have had time to figure out how to use the phone. I’ll call his office tomorrow. I have his number.”

Simon smiled. “Another beer?”

Jim smiled back but something was scratching at his skin. He wished he could hear Blair’s gentle voice telling him everything was alright. He shoved away the thought of rushing to Blair’s side immediately. He repressed a sigh. “Sure, Simon. Why not?”

~~~0~~~

“That hit him fast. Is he just in a trance? Or something more serious?” Mo whispered to Riso.

Mo placed a hand on Riso’s arm to help her center herself. He was new to all this guide stuff and was surprised as hell when his aloof and drop dead gorgeous partner came fully on line as a Sentinel a short time after he joined the Wiky team. He had only had one vision in his life, of a seashell shaped boat floating on a great lake. It had led him, a year ago, to the island and Riso, a struggling Sentinel whose senses began to blossom when she shook her new team member’s hand for the first time. 

Mo now knew how lucky he was to have the support of the Wiky community and Wolf and Mountie who had been Guide and Sentinel and partners for years now. Wolf had told him about a phone call to an old friend who knew a young Guide who was fading. The Guide had lived a lonely life hidden away from his brother and sister Guides. He had great power and even greater potential. He’d found his Sentinel by pure perseverance, had cheated death and was brought back to life as the Great Shaman of a distant city. But his Sentinel would not bond with him. The Guide had been left to flounder and fade. Soon the Guide would waste away and dwell forever between two worlds where his Sentinel had led him and left him on his own.

After hearing the tale and the sorrow in Wolf’s voice as he told it, Mo was determined that he would help Wolf and Mountie to save the poor Guide they’d called Bo. His heart went out to his brother Guide reclined on the couch, so pale and trembling slightly under the blankets Mountie piled on hm. Mo shivered. He couldn’t imagine going through all this shit alone. Mo smiled sadly. He had always wanted a kid brother to look after, and somehow little Bo fit the bill.

Riso felt her Guide shiver and moved closer to him, taking his hand. She loved her Guide and the bond thrummed through her. She had been thinking of proposing. Living together just wasn’t cutting it for her. 

Mo wanted to wait. To make sure they married for the right reasons. He said it was because he would only marry once, it meant forever to him. Wolf had advised her that all Sentinel and Guides bond, but didn’t necessarily marry. Some pairs were relatives, brothers or sisters, some wanted to marry others, some wanted only each other. 

She looked down at Blair. She imagined her Guide alone and unwanted, trapped in shadows and fading away. It filled her with fierce protectiveness toward the young man. It made her want to grab her own Guide and hide him away from all harm. She closed her eyes and focused on Blair’s heartbeat. Her Sentinel senses told her it was slow but steady.

“I think he’s okay,” Riso whispered back. “But I wish he’d come around. It makes my skin crawl to see a Guide in pain. How could his Sentinel let him get so bad?” 

“I can’t imagine. Do you feel the power coming off of him? And look at him. He’s so…” Mo faltered. 

“Beautiful, strong yet vulnerable?” Riso sighed and added, “like you.”

Mo gave her a shy smile but ignored the comment. “You think he’s really the Great One?”

“Even Wolf isn’t sure. His visions of a dying blue-eyed timber wolf have tormented him for months. If his visions change now that Bo is here, he might know for sure. All I know is Bo is fading fast and I’ll do anything I can to help him. If I ever get my hands on his lousy Sentinel...”

“Shush, you two. I think he’s coming around.” Mountie warned.

Blair, nestled in Wolf’s arms, began to moan. The older Guide wrapped him in warmth, tried to ground him and keep him from getting lost as he lingered on the spiritual plain. Blair was cold and barely breathing. Wolf continuously mouthed soothing Ojibwe chants into Blair’s ear, reminding him of the physical plain and urging him to come back. 

Mountie straddled a chair close by and kept Wolf grounded as well, with a gentle hand rubbing his shoulder.

“Noooooooo!” Blair suddenly screamed and tried to jump up. Wolf held him tightly and Mountie placed a hand on his blanket-covered leg. No one noticed the faint chiming of Blair’s phone tucked away in his jacket pocket across the room.

Blair’s eyes opened wide and he took gasping breaths as he surveyed the room. His gaze lighted on Mountie’s concerned face. 

“You! You’re a Sentinel!” Blair tried to squirm away but someone held him fast. “And you!” he shouted at Riso. “You’re one too! Stay… stay away from me!”

Blair struggled and broke free. He fell to the floor and kicked off the tangle of blankets his legs were caught in. He held up his hands and frantically pushed at the air between himself and the room full of possible enemies. “I know now where I know you from, Maengun! I had a vision. You’re a Guide.You’re a fucking Guide and he’s your Sentinel.” 

Blair slid towards the door, trying to get to his feet. “Keep away from me! What do you want from me? I can’t go through this again. Leave me alone!”

He managed to pull himself up by clawing at the door frame. He staggered out the door and bumped into a worried Gem who had been cleaning up and making tea and coffee for her charges. She immediately wrapped her arms around him, casting a glance at Wolf who was nodding to her to continue. She had seen this type of thing before and knew what to do. She stroked his hair and held him close. 

“There, there, duck. I won’t let them hurt you. I’m not a Sentinel or a Guide. Did I tell you I was married to the former Chief of the Ojibwe? I have seen and heard enough strange things for three lifetimes. Nothing phases me.”

Blair was dizzy and confused. Everything seemed to be covered by a slowly receding green mist. He wanted to run, he wanted to run screaming to Jim, but his legs could barely hold him up. He instinctively knew Gem was safety and held on tightly. She smelled of vanilla and lavender and he let out a deep breath laced with tears.

“Come with me to the kitchen. I’ll make you some tea, my goose. And I’ll tell you a tale.”

~~~0~~~

An hour later, Mo and Riso had discretely left and Wolf and Mountie had joined a shaken, but mostly calm Blair and a smugly satisfied Gem at the small kitchen table in the break room.

“I told you boys that you shouldn't spring all this on him at once.”

“We did not, Gem,” Mountie protested. “This petit Boheme is strong. He could see the wolf spirit and had a vision. I have never sensed a Guide so powerful. One touch and I almost fell to my knees.”

Blair sipped his second cup of tea. He felt like Alice in Wonderland, only he had awakened on the wonderful island of Sentinels and Guides.

Mountie continued after a sideways glare from Wolf. “Of course, mon loup, he can not be compared to the heavenly scent and wondrous touch of you. He is strong and compelling but you own my heart, mon amour.”

“Do not insult me by thinking me jealous. My only concern is helping Bo to deal with his abilities and help return him to good health, mon petit poil de cul.”

Blair spit out his tea with an unexpected laugh as Gem tsked. “Ahhhh,” Mountie chuckled. “Bo understands French! Now he can hear how you disrespect me calling me ‘your little butt hair’.”

Now Wolf and Gem joined Blair in good natured laughter at the snowy haired Sentinel who crossed his arms and huffed.

“Don’t sulk, Mountie. I still love you.” Wolf planted a kiss on Mountie’s cheek bringing a bright smile back to his face.

Blair’s mouth twitched. He thought of Jim and he openly joking and kissing. A wave of sadness washed over him making his hands tingle. Wolf and Mountie had told Blair they had been Guide and Sentinel for nearly forty years and were deeply in love. They said they decided early on to be open in their relationship and it worked for them. They had many threats and trials but together they always survived.

Gem had filled Blair in on the mysteries of the island. Since as far back as anyone could remember Sentinels and Guides gathered here at the end of summer at the great pow wow. At first it was only local tribes, but soon others heard the call in visions and came to celebrate and learn from each other. Young people occasionally found each other early on. But more often Guides were inexplicably drawn to the island only to find a hurting, out of control Sentinel anxiously waiting for them. Those bonds were the strongest. And always the bands prayed and dreamed for the Great Guide the one who would unite the nations. During the pow wow the Sentinels and Guides would separate from the rest and hold secret conferences and ceremonies of bonding on their own 

Blair absorbed her words like a healing balm. He truly was not alone and neither was Jim. Blair in turn told them about his life as a Guide. The three older people let him talk without interruptions. The only sounds in the little kitchen was the ticking clock on the wall and the curses from Mountie and gasps from Gem as he told of Lash and other close calls - Alex, Jim tossing him out, his death, his resurrection, and finally his disastrous diss.

When Blair finished, he could tell his audience was moved. Wolf looked close to tears as Mountie held him close. Gem wiped her eyes daintily with a hankie. Yes, he certainly had one messed up life. He took pity on them and wanted to turn the tables.

“I have so many questions. Aren’t you afraid of retribution from your government?”

Wolf and Mountie exchanged knowing looks. Mountie cleared his throat and answered him. “This is Canada, not the USA, Bo. The Island has always been a sacred place for Sentinel and Guides. It is accepted that the First Nation tribes have many traditions and beliefs that are strange and magical. Most don’t care if a pow wow on a reserve far away from them is held for peoples who have extraordinary senses. They dismiss it as quaint. Just an ancient belief of a simple people.

Most of us Sentinels end up in the military or police anyway sworn to serve their country. Sentinels and Guides are sought after to do rescue work in the Canadian Rockies. Sentinels are looked at as gifted, mostly due to their Guide’s interference with officials and occasionally the press. We are not afraid. We draw strength from our brothers and sisters. From what you have told us, you are alone, you and your Sentinel and so very afraid. Is this not so?”

Blair nodded. “I have been very afraid of someone forcing Jim to use his gifts for crime. It almost happened once. I keep his secret and try to protect him. My Captain knows. And Eli. We have friends who probably have guessed and they support us. But my Sentinel has always kept this secret close to his heart. Rejected by his family and even his wife, he has lived in fear his whole life.”

Wolf leaned in and touched Blair’s arm. “And you Blair? Were your abilities nurtured when you were young?”

Blair swallowed. “I only had my mom. She wasn’t around a lot. I guess you could say the world nurtured me.”

“Bo, I told you that you are not alone any longer. We are your family. We Guides and our Sentinels. You have many brothers and sisters, now. You are the strongest Guide I have ever met. How long have you been able to see spirit animals?”

“I… I think for a very long time. As a child I always had imaginary animal friends. My wolf was my favorite. Back then I called him Billy because I always wished that was my name. A real boy's name that no one would make fun of. Billy was always the same age as I was. I had a baby jaguar I named Shadow and a huge mountain lion I called Rocky.”

“I...I haven’t thought of them in years and years. I thought I had outgrown them, you know. Convinced myself they were a result of a childish need for acceptance and love. Till I met Jim, my… my Sentinel. I never told him about my childhood friends. His spirit animal is a black jaguar. It never occurred to me it might be Shadow, all grown up. Wow, man. This is mind blowing.”

“My animal spirit is a mountain lion, Bo.”

Blair smiled at the big man. “Rocky always came to me when I was scared of something. Like heights or small dark places. He kept me from panicking.”

“I’m glad.”

“Tell me, why did I see a black wolf with you? It wasn’t your spirit animal…”

Wolf explained. “No, it was mine. In our jobs, we were never official partners, but we were always allowed to be at each other’s side when needed. My dearest desire was for Mountie to be safe so I send my wolf with him when he is on duty. The aged Shaman of the Ojibwe taught me how to control my spirit guide and send him where I wished I could be. I send my spirit animal out with Mountie whenever he works. It acts as his Guide and keeps him from zoning when I can’t be there. When he is in danger, it warns me and keeps him safe till I can get to him physically. I was able to teach Mountie some control over his spirit animal also. These abilities have made us closer and saved our hides many times.” 

“Wow, I could send my spirit animal out with Jim. You must teach me… Are… are you a Shaman, Wolf?”

“No. I am simply a Guide. I have not come back from the dead, Bo. You, I believe are the Great Guide. The one who is foretold. The Shaman Guide who it is said will unite the lost Guides and give us back our power and strength.”

Blair snorted. “I am not a great anything. My Sentinel doesn’t even want me around. I’m not even sure I am a true Guide. I helped a little at first, but he’s fine without me now. I appreciate this job and I can’t wait to work with other Sentinels and Guides now that I’m over the shock. But I am not special. Sorry, Wolf. I hope you find him someday.” 

Mountie snorted. “Guides,” he said with a hint of disgust. “Mon loup calls himself simple in front of me and you, Bo, say you are not special? Not a Guide? You are a fool!”

Blair blinked wearily at the rugged red-faced man before him.

“Of course you are a Guide! You have visions! You have found and saved your Sentinel’s life!” Mountie impulsively grabbed Blair’s hand. He pulled back.

“You feel it? You feel the power? That is not me, Bo. That is you. You could tear me apart or put me together with just your voice. But I know you will not harm me. Guides cannot do harm to a Sentinel and a Sentinel will die before they will let any Guide perish.”

Blair was startled by Mountie’s passion.

“Guides are special. Everyone of them a treasure to be guarded and loved. There cannot be a Sentinel without a Guide. We do not function without each other. Your Sentinel is a bigger fool than you are. To cast you aside is an act of ultimate cruelty. The man is no Sentinel in my eyes, I would condemn him if he were here!”

Wolf placed a hand on Mountie’s arm. He spoke softly. “I’m sorry Mountie, I can be foolish, too. I think Bo has had enough thrown at him today, my love.”

Blair nodded and finished his tea, choosing not to reply. He had much to think about. Instead, he just said, “I’m really tired. I think I’ll call it a longass day and head back to the cabin now.”

Wolf nodded. “You have had a long and eventful day, Bo. Sleep in tomorrow. Come in when you are fully rested. Mountie and I live near you. We have a slightly bigger cabin in a more secluded area on the same road. Gem lives a short walk away from the office but I do not allow her to walk in the dark and we have the truck. If you will drive her home, we will follow you to your door.”

Gem smiled as Blair agreed to the plan. She kissed his cheek. “Remember, duck. You are not alone any more.” She ran off to gather her things and bring along Blair’s new uniforms and boots that had arrived earlier.

Blair had heard their kind words. But he never felt more alone. Jim suddenly seemed a distant world away.

~~~0~~~

Blair slowly opened one eye and was relieved to see the world was too bright, but not covered in a green tinged mist. He reached for the travel alarm clock, another gift from Jim, on his nightstand and brought it close so he could read it without his glasses. He blinked at the tiny extra dials on its face that indicated the time in other zones. It was 10:00 am eastern time on Manitoulin Island and 7:00 am pacific time in Cascade. Jim would be drinking his first mug of coffee.

He felt hungover as he donned his old flannel robe and stumbled to the kitchen to locate the coffee maker. His knees were still rubbery and his eyes misty. He rubbed at them, yawned widely and scratched vigorously at his hair. He opened the cupboards and found it well stocked by Gem with Tim Hortons coffee, TWG tea along with herbal teas and Manitoulin Island honey. The coffee would work just fine, but he pictured having Gem to tea one day. Maybe baking her his special banana nut muffins to thank her for her kindness.

He stepped onto the porch and gazed at the gorgeous view as he waited for the coffee to brew. A few clouds dotted the sky as it blended into the bay. Blair amused himself counting the shades of blue in water and sky and watching a wood duck with his entire feathered family checking out the new resident. Day old bread was in their future, but they didn’t know it. 

Blair literally woke up from his pleasant daydream and smelled the coffee. He went to grab a steaming mug and search for his phone. He hoped it was still charged. He wanted desperately to talk to Jim.

Blair found it in his jacket pocket where he put it the day before. He fiddled with the buttons and toyed with the crazy idea of actually reading the book of instructions Jim had shoved in his backpack along with the charger and a warning to keep it the damn phone charged or suffer a raging Sentinel knocking on his door. Blair considered that wishful thinking rather than threatening.

He noticed that he had a missed call. Jim, 8:51 last night. He cursed, punched in Jim’s number and pressed send. He sat on the porch with his coffee, his hand shaking as the phone rang.

//Ellison.//

//Hey, Jim. Sorry I missed your call last night, I… I was still at the office.//

//Chief! How are you, buddy? Yeah, I called I wanted to hear about your first day. You sound tired. You at work?//

On the other end of the phone, Jim had to stop himself from rambling on and let Blair answer. He was so relieved to hear his voice. He closed his eyes to concentrate on his guide.

//I’m good, Jim, I’m speaking to you from the porch of my very nifty cabin overlooking the Manitowaning Bay.//

//Sounds beautiful, Chief. I wish… Have you been sworn in yet?//

Blair smiled when he heard what Jim wasn’t saying. He wished he was here at least to see him with a gold shield on his chest. Blair wished that, too.

//As a matter of fact, you are speaking to Constable Sandburg of the Wikwemikong Tribal Police. I was sworn in last night. I have a shiny gold badge and a very official looking uniform to prove it.//

//Congratulations, Blair. You deserve it. I hope your boss appreciates what he’s got.//

//Wolf is awesome, man. Full blooded Ojibwa warrior throwback. Soft spoken but unflappable, velvet over steel, you know? He treated me like a long lost son from the get go. His partner is… cool too. He spent most of his life as a Mountie. I’ll be working with two other constables. And the receptionist is a sweet but tough older lady. Reminds me of Mae.//

 

//You sound excited. You get any hassles?//

//No man. Just the opposite. Their welcome overwhelmed me. They made me feel wanted. They were actually impressed by what I have done. They gave me a party after I was sworn in and… well let’s say I think I have five new blessed protectors to watch out for… and no more hair comments. Wolf’s hair hangs to his waist!//

Jim swallowed. Blair sounded happy and appreciated. Wanted. Like anyone could want Blair more than he. Jim had to remind himself that Blair didn’t know he was wanted. Not yet anyway.

//You call your boss Wolf?//

Blair hesitated. He didn’t know why he didn’t want Jim to know he was surrounded by animal spirits, Guides, Sentinels and acceptance. Then again, maybe he did know why. Jim might go ballistic, fly to the island and pull him home by his hair. As appealing as that sounded to him, he wasn’t ready to come back.

//It’s a funny tradition here at Wiky. Everyone gets a nickname. Maengun means wolf, thus his nickname. His partner is called Mountie for obvious reasons. Mo and Riso are the other Constables and Gem runs the place. Mountie dubbed me ‘la boheme’, Bo for short. I’ve been called worse, right?//

Hundred of miles away, Jim’s senses sparked with apprehension. Who did this Mountie character think he was nicknaming his Guide. He swallowed a growl and the urge to track down the creep and shove his nickname where the sun don’t shine. He opened his eyes and shook his head.

//Jim? You still there?//

//Sure, Chief. Just aaa… grabbed some coffee.//

//How are your senses. Any problems?//

//Naaa, Chief. Everything’s under control. Listen. They sound like a good group of people. I’m happy for you.//

Blair hung his head. Jim didn’t need him anymore. He was letting him down easy. The hand that held the phone was shaking badly. The trembling raced up his arm and settled in his throat. He made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a sob and tried to cover it with a cough.

//I… I gotta get to work, Jim.//

//Chief, I… I miss you.//

//Miss you too, big guy. Bye.//

Blair ended the call and dropped the phone. He glanced up at the handmade dreamcatcher gently swaying in the breeze over his head. “Damn!” Blair cried, scaring the ducks away.

Across the miles Jim stared at his phone and wondered if he was the densest man alive. Simon was going to kill him. He was a fucking idiot not to call Blair back, confess his love and make him come home. “Damn,” Jim whispered.

~~~0~~~

Blair pulled himself together and made it the office a little before noon. He didn’t have first day jitters. He felt as if he already belonged. But he did feel strange. Like he was walking in a cloud. His toes and fingers tingled. He kept catching glimpses of shadows that dissipated if he tried to focus on them.

Wolf and Mountie were waiting for him in Wolf’s office. Mountie had his head buried in Wolf’s neck when Blair knocked on the open door. He hummed and released the Chief of Police.

“Ah! Bo! You are here, bonne. We are taking you for a tour of all the places you will be likely be guarding this summer.”

“And a few places I think the anthropologist in you will enjoy,” added Wolf. “Mo and Riso are out on a domestic call. A very jealous husband who has no reason to be. You will find the crime rate is a bit lower here than in Cascade. Mo and Riso can handle most days on their own. We have days when no crimes are committed at all.”

“Oui, when it is twenty below. Burrrr. I do not care for cold weather.”

Blair chuckled. ”I agree. I’m glad I’m here in the summer.”

Wolf raised an eyebrow. “But there is such beauty and things to do on the island in the winter. Ice caves, ice fishing, ice skating.”

“I do like the cuddling by the fire after facing frostbite with you, mon coeur.”

“Bo, you will find that Mountie thinks mostly with his little brain.”

“I can not help it if you drive me insane!” Mountie exclaimed.

“Not a long drive, ma couille.”

Blair chuckled. He knew ‘couille’ meant something like dickhead. “Hum.” 

Mountie smiled back at Blair. “You look very intense in your uniform. Your eyes are piercing. You will scare all the criminals away with your glare. Come, let’s go.”

Wolf and Blair followed the Mountie out to the Jeep. Blair started to feel better as the tour progressed. Blair felt safe in the backseat. He imagined it was how a road trip would be like if, as a kid he’d had a mom and a dad. Or even two dads. He smiled at the image. The banter from the front seat was teasing, funny and loving and it washed over him like a tonic soothing his mind.

Wolf told interesting myths of his tribe while Mountie played with Wolf’s hair or rubbed his shoulder. Wolf gave Mountie a contented smile now and then that made Blair’s heart ache for Jim. He could sense the deep bond Wolf and Mountie shared. He selfishly latched onto it and felt it giving him strength. He could imagine what Mountie, that big pussycat of a man, would do if someone threatened his Wolf. He knew the mountain lion would roar.

 

The day was delightful. Blair was amused by the kitschy ‘Fairy Tale Trail’ with funky life-size outdoor dioramas of Red Riding Hood, the wolf and Hansel and Gretel, that led to an awe-inspiring cave which was once a sacred burial ground. Later, Wolf enthralled him with the story of Masewein, a lone Sentinel who waited at the hauntingly beautiful bridal veil falls for his guide to return. He wrestled at the top of the falls with the impish spirit Nanabush and won enough corn plants to bring his wayward Guide and tribe back to the island.

“We will stop here last, Bo. I want you to see the view from Dreamer’s Rock.” Wolf informed him.

After a short hike up a sloping cliff of sparkling quartzite, Wolf led them to a flat place where an indentation was worn into the rock big enough for a man to sleep in or dream in. Blair could see up the shore across the channel and out to the waters beyond. The view was intoxicating. He felt like he was on top of the world. A Sentinel would love this place, was his immediate thought.. 

Blair watched Mountie absently strike a tilted head pose like he could see forever. Wolf placed a hand on Mounties back and Blair knew he was grounding him. Wolf quietly began to tell the story of the site as Blair drank his fill of the scenery.

“This place is sacred to my tribe and others. Dreamers were and are very important to us. A warrior who has many visions is revered. This place is where many came to fast and have visions vital to themselves and the tribe. A man would see what he was meant to do. Bo, you see these pictographs?”

Blair came close to see that dreams had been drawn faintly on the rock face. He instinctively knew that was what the images depicted. The dreams of warriors who came to this rock to find their purpose.

“Oh, man. Dreams! Look at this one and this. These are Sentinels and Guides!”

“Bo? Do you wish to dream? Mountie will stand guard and I will ground you. You have nothing to fear.”

Blair nodded and swallowed. He knelt down and felt the indentation in the rock with his hand. He gasped as he felt the warmth and heard the faint whispered calls of other dreamers encouraging him to lie down. He slid onto his back and closed his eyes.

The vision was different now. More like a full color dream of the future. At first he was alone. He was lost in a mist confused, injured, in great pain. Then the world was bright and Jim was lying next to him. He hugged him and held him close. The dream changed to the bullpen at Cascade PD. He was behind a desk, in a small sunlit office, his glasses and a ticonderoga pencil lost in his long hair. He was typing furiously when Jim walked in, looked around and stole a passionate kiss. Jim smiled at the look of surprise on his face, and strode out of the office with a beautiful, healthy, grey wolf at his side. Suddenly, he found himself sitting at a long table in front of a microphone addressing a large group, but he was smiling and waving his arms, fully in control of his audience. Jim was nearby, his arms crossed and a soft vulnerable look on his face. He mouthed “I love you,” and smiled.

Blair opened his eyes and began to cry. He clung to Wolf and Mountie joined them, surrounding Blair in a circle of love. 

“I saw Jim, my Sentinel. He saved me. Then we were back in Cascade. He was mine, completely. I felt the bond. What it would feel like. Oh, shit. It hurts so much to be without it. I can’t live without it, Wolf. I can’t live without it. ”Blair’s emotions were open and bare.

Wolf held him and stroked his hair. “My prayer has been answered, little Bo. Hush, now. Dreaming here makes your emotions very raw. This is why you cry. It is alright. It was a good dream. It gives us hope. But it is true. Without the bond with your Sentinel you will fade and die.”

“Wha’?”

“You know this in your heart. It is why you are here. You have given your heart and soul to your Sentinel but he has rejected you. A bonded pair can keep you alive by sharing their bond with you. Mountie and I have been doing that.”

“Yes. Yes, I could feel it.”

“It is a temporary cure, Bo. You have been fading since you came back from the dead. But now you know what you have to do. Bring your Sentinel here. Bond with him. He did not know his actions would hurt you. You do understand that a bond is a binding vow between two hearts. You do not have to consummate it physically if you choose not to. If that is a problem for your Sentinel. You both could love others and still have the bond. You understand this?”

“It’s… it’s not that simple. I can’t… trap Jim into a bond of any kind. I am positive he would bond with me to save my life. But I won’t let him sacrifice his. It has to be his choice freely given. He doesn’t need me like I need him. He doesn’t even want to be a Sentinel. He would be happy if he lost his abilities and forgot about me.”

Mountie was agast. “Nonononono. You must tell him. How could he not want you, Bo? You are magnificent! I am thinking he would be very angry at you if he could hear you now. I would be insane if my Wolfie were dying and I couldn’t do something about it. Save him by giving him my heart? What could be easier?”

Blair snorted. “You don’t know Jim.”

“Ahhhh! But I know Sentinels! Save me from Guides! Morons all of you!”

“Here, Bo,” Wolf ignored Mountie’s outburst and handed Blair a sliver of quartz. “Add your dream to the wall so that the Great Spirit can bless it and help it come to pass.”

Blair took the sharp rock in his hand. The older couple’s bond helped to quiet his shakes and his tears. He wiped his eyes and went to the wall. He scratched into the forgiving rock a picture of two men. One was tall grasping a spear, the other was short, its stick figure head covered in spiral curls, with no space between them. The pair was standing in front of high snowy mountain peaks.

A romantic till the end, Blair couldn’t help enclosing his picture in a heart. Seeing his dream carved in rock like so many before him gave him a flicker of hope that he quickly shut down.


	4. Chapter Four

As June blossomed into a full, lush summer, tourists started to pour into the Island. Blair settled into a routine that was anything but routine. He patrolled with Mo and Riso, sometimes in the jeep and sometimes on horseback. He thoroughly enjoyed grooming his pitch black Hanoverian horse, Goth, and took him for morning rides even on his days off. Mo took several digital photos of Blair on his horse and Blair sent them in an email to Jim who forwarded them to Simon and his friends at Major Crimes. 

He earned his share of bumps and bruises from inebriated tourists and pissed off locals. He arrested a real nasty pusher when he spotted him dealing at a native art festival. Wolf was down right bursting with pride when Blair shyly confessed he could always tell a dealer or a snitch from his shoes.

He kept up his muscle strength by training with Mo at the gym. Mo taught him all he could remember from his academy days and added some awesome moves he learned from his street beat in Vancouver. They often had an audience of local hockey heroes, the Wolves. The big teenage boys would challenge the smaller curly haired Constable, then land flat on their backs on the mat while their buddies howled with laughter.

Mountie offered to teach Blair how to handle firearms. Blair noticed that Mountie always carried because of his work as Constable First Class with the OPP. Mo carried more often than Riso, being a city boy. Wolf never used a handgun, but he did sling an old winchester rifle behind his saddle when he rode his horse around the reserve by himself. Wolf’s attitude was that most situations on the reserve could be handled with negotiation. Being a respected Ojibwe ‘dreamer’ as well as a Guide with a truly hypnotic voice helped to make his success rate high.

Despite his peace-loving nature, Blair actually enjoyed his firearms training. Mostly because he was alone with Mountie, who reminded him of an older, French-Canadian Jim. Being around a Sentinel like Mountie gave him strength. 

In a locked steel building hidden in the scrub and weeds behind the office was an official if mostly unused RCMP-approved firing range, complete with safety partitions, ear protection and a target line. Mountie would stand behind Blair and steady his hand and at his touch Blair would come alive with sensations of power he’d never experienced before. He could feel Mountie’s senses and strength reaching out to help him make his shot.

Mountie was more powerful than Jim. His senses reached further and his control was amazing. He said it was because of the love of his Wolfie and their bond. Mountie insisted that the bond was essential to a Sentinel’s fulfillment. But Blair would stubbornly refuse to comment.

Mountie taught him what he needed to know about shooting a handgun, a rifle and a dart gun, since he might be called on for back-up, or more likely take down a poisonous snake from horseback or sedate a wolf who wandered too close to a campsite. He also taught him to aim with what he called his guide’s eye so he could choose with precision whether his shot would kill or simply disarm a perp.

Blair wrapped his morals around the idea of extreme force only as a last resort that his Police Chief espoused. He earned his specialized RCMP firearms license with perfect scores and a humbling sense of responsibility.

Blair wasn’t fading quite so fast anymore due to the attentions of two sets of overprotective Sentinel/Guide units. But he wasn’t in good health either. His lungs, damaged by his drowning, were sensitive to the cold mists that shrouded the island early in the morning. More than once he needed to use his emergency inhaler. Jim had packed three in his backpack just in case. 

Blair continued to lose weight. He had little appetite and never ate at home, but sometimes managed to choke down a croissant or a slice of pizza during patrol with Mo and Riso. He could only seem to eat a full meal when Gem forced him to by cooking a menu designed just for him and watching him eat with a stern expression as she promised a home baked dessert if he cleaned his plate.

When he was having a bad day or had been in a tussle on the job, Mountie insisted he spend time cuddled between Wolf and himself on the couch, soaking in their bond as Wolf read and Mountie watched soccer and threw popcorn at the screen.

Blair routinely spoke to Jim on the phone, stretching his powers of obfuscation and misdirection to the outer limits. Jim was always warm and friendly, laughing at Blair’s stories about his co-workers or crazy tourists. Blair proudly told Jim all the amazing horse tricks Goth could do on a daily basis. 

He succeeded in not mentioning any scrapes he got into or how many unbonded Sentinels he had felt scanning him when he was on crowd control duty at the Soaring Spirit Festival. He never mentioned the Sentinel/Guide pairs of every size, shape and gender combination he sensed as he rode Goth around the campgrounds. Or the sorrow in his heart when he witnessed them holding hands or kissing.

Blair never mentioned his new emerging powers of empathy, his ever increasing visions or how they drained him. He didn’t tell Jim about his worried team of Blessed Protectors that hovered over him and gave him the strength to go on. He never even mentioned how desperately he wanted to be with Jim. 

~~~0~~~

Jim waited in Simon’s office for him to return from a meeting. He picked up a framed picture from his desk that took a place of honor next to his son Darryl’s graduation picture. Jim knew the picture in this frame was important to Simon since he had gone out of his way to make a professional looking copy. 

Jim sat and caressed the face in the frame with one finger. It was a photo of Blair astride a handsome black Hanoverian horse. Blair was looking towards a horizon of blue water and sky. His long hair shining in the sun, a few errant curls clinging to his wind-kissed cheek. He was dressed in his uniform and boots a gold shield proudly pinned on his chest. One gloved hand held the reins firmly, the other hand absently patted his horse’s mane.

Love swelled in Jim’s chest as he gazed at the ethereal creature who had captured his heart. At home by his bed he had the photo of Blair being sworn in. The look on his face was one of pride mingled with shock that anyone would want him after what he had been through.

When Blair e-mailed Jim and the others six different poses of Blair on a his assigned horse, the bullpen had erupted in sounds of pride, joy and laughter. There was a rush to the printer. Rafe and Henri each picked their favorite and placed them in opposite corners of their desk blotters. Joel carefully taped his favorite to his computer monitor where he could see it whenever he looked up. Megan pulled an empty silver frame out of her desk, one that used to hold a photo of Megan and her latest ex. Jim heard her mumble. “Sandy. You’re lookin’ betta everyday.”

Jim never printed out the six pictures. He saved the e-mail and opened it whenever he had time and gazed slowly and lovingly with Sentinel eyes at every inch of Blair. He agreed with his co-workers that Blair looked simply wonderful. But his eyes could see he wasn’t well. He was thin and pale. Jim swore he could see the very veins under his almost transparent skin. And it tore at his heart.

Jim replaced the picture on the desk as Simon came in.

“Ellison? You trying out my chair for size? I’m not dead yet.”

Startled, Jim stood awkwardly. “Sorry, Captain. I didn't even notice I was sitting…”

Simon sighed. “Drooling over the kid again? Jealous of the horse? You didn’t even hear me coming did you?”

Jim shuffled around the desk and took a seat in the other chair. “No, Sir. Didn’t hear a thing.”

“They are totally gone now?”

“Totally.” Jim rubbed his hands over his face. “There’s nothing. My vision is even a little blurry when I read.”

“How about when you talk to Sandburg?”

Jim shook his head. “I… can’t hear his heartbeat anymore, Simon.”

Simon dropped the file he was holding on his desk as he sat down. He stared at Jim for a moment then checked his calendar. “You have court next week on July 20th. Watkins case. Your testimony is key. But after that…”

“Huh?”

“Jim. Go to him. Book a flight for July 21st. I’ll put the time in for you. Stay as long as you want, but keep me informed. Bring him home, Jim.”

“Simon. He’s in a good place. Look at that picture. He looks… empowered. He’s not in anyone’s shadow anymore.”

“He’s not smiling.”

“Yes he is… Sir.”

“That’s not a Sandburg smile. That’s not a ‘Jim just did something amazing, Simon’ smile.”

“But…”

“That is a ‘I miss Jim and Cascade something awful, but the people here are great and I want to do my best and come back home’, smile.”

“Simon.”

“Do not sit there and tell me that you losing your abilities has nothing to do with your Guide being a few time zones away. I am not that clueless.”

“I never said…”

“Ellison, do I have to order you to go to Manitoulin Island and get us back our little hippie? Canada has had him long enough, don’t you think? There is something about Sandburg’s boss and his Dudley Do Right partner that give me the heebie-jeebies. ”

“I feel the same, but Simon, you don’t understand. What if my senses are gone permanently? If he isn’t a Guide, what could I offer Blair to make him stay?”

“If you think Blair loves you only because of your senses you are doing him and yourself a great disservice.”

Jim looked up. “Maybe you’re right, but he’s got a good job. He’s happy there. He’s made new friends and is totally in love with a horse named Goth. Instead of a used up, balding cop with ‘fear’ issues.”

“Doesn’t Blair deserve to make that decision for himself?”

Simon glanced at the picture of Blair on his desk. He once again felt that odd tingle in his gut and knew he needed to facilitate bringing these two together. It had become his own vision, but it was hard with two such pig-headed men. But he had come to believe that was why he was in charge of them. He didn’t believe in coincidences. Simon sent a prayer up to whatever deity was listening to poor Captains of Sentinels today and tried again.

“You told me he’s doing well. He’s out on patrol making arrests. Even got himself certified in firearms. Our little man has become a cop, Jim. He has earned that badge on his chest all on his own. Why do you think that is? There is only one reason Blair Sandburg would work so hard to become a cop and good one by the sound of it. And that reason is you. To make you proud. To make himself the best partner he could possibly be for you.”

“I’ve been working on an offer that will give him a decent position here. If you don’t visit him, I will. I swear I’ll sit in the Police Chief’s office and negotiate my heart out till I get him to return, with or without your help.”

Jim sighed and gave Simon a brief smile. “You’re right. He deserves to know everything before he makes a decision that will affect his whole life.”

“Jim, I can get my head around why you couldn’t tell him how you feel and what’s been happening to your senses over the phone. But it’s time to do right by Sandburg and tell him face to face. You owe him that.” 

“I know. I’m being a neanderthal jerk and a coward. He has a right to know the truth. Thanks, Simon. I’ll tell him I’m coming tonight.”

~~~0~~~

Blair ended his call with Jim and stared out at the beginning of another golden-hued sunset over Manitowaning Bay. He loved to wander around and explore the shore in the evening, always stopping to catch the ever-changing sunset. The fat and squat Manitowaning lighthouse always made him smile, as did the tipsy barn that looked like it was about to fall. He’d been told it had looked that way for fifty years. 

Sometimes he explored Heritage Marina and pondered the fate of the huge steamship Norisle docked there since it’s retirement from ferry duty. But he always made it back to the white sand beach near his cabin in time to catch the ever changing colors of the summer sunset. His favorite place to enjoy the show was sitting on top of one of the wooden, seabreeze washed picnic tables. 

Often one or two of his friends would join him. He especially liked it when Wolf sat calmly next to him and recalled the old legends in his soothing voice, while the sky grew dark over the bay. His favorite was the legend of the great fish. 

A young Ojibwe warrior was spear fishing in South Bay when he spied the biggest fish he had ever seen. He wanted to catch the fish so much that all other thoughts left his mind. He tried and tried but the big fish would fling himself in the air and evade him. “Fish,” the warrior said, “I love you and respect you but I will kill you dead before this day ends.”

With one last mighty hurl the young warrior threw his spear at the fish. This time his aim was true and his spear went deep into the back, near the heart of the huge fish. Neither fish nor man would give up. For in defeat the fish would lose his life and the warrior would lose his pride before his tribe. In each one’s victory the other would be destroyed. The fish thrashed mightily and the warrior hung on with all that he had. But at the last, although just barely alive, the fish flung himself high in the air. The spear snapped and the fish disappeared into depths the bay.

A few days later, the warrior was fishing in Manitowaning Bay where it was separated from South Bay by an isthmus just a few kilometers wide and saw a dark shape floating in the water. It was his fish, the spear still in his back, the spearhead embedded in his heart. It was dead.  
He told his tale to his tribesmen which lead them to discover a previously unknown underwater cave connecting the bays where the Great Spirit Gitchi Manitou dwelt. By passing through the secret cave, the mythical fish revealed the den of the Great Spirit to the Ojibwe people.

The legend reminded Blair of the struggles he had faced with Jim. Blair thought of himself as the fish with his warrior’s spear embedded in his heart. He hoped that his sacrifice would allow his warrior to on unencumbered and be honored. Blair’s death would free him for a greater purpose unknown to both of them.

~~~0~~~

Jim was coming.

Blair was trying not to panic. It was Friday. Jim would be here on the Island in Blair’s spare room next Friday. Jim would be here in eight days, Seven if he didn’t count that night. In seven days he’d be greeting Jim at the ferry landing. Jim would be all smiles and hugs. Probably hug him so hard he’d need to wear kevlar. Jim’s smile would be so wide and his eyes so brilliant blue, he’d better wear sunglasses.

But then Jim would scan Blair’s heartbeat. He’d detect his failing health and the blatant omissions. He’d smell the other Sentinels on his clothes and sense them on the island. Jim would go supernova and take Blair with him. Slam him up against a wall like he’d done before and Blair would have to talk him down.

Blair began to panic.

“Hey! Bo! We got pizza and brewskies!” Riso called with a laugh as Mo juggled an extra large half meat lovers, half vegetarian pizza and a six pack of Molson. “Gem sent along a hawberry pie, but you have to promise to share or I take it hostage.”

Blair waved at his friends as they joined him at the picnic table. “Hey! Ummm… cool… yeah.”

Mo dropped the pizza box gently on the table and grabbed a beer. “Here’s your appetizer,” he said handing Blair a bottle. 

Riso carefully placed the Gem’s Tupperware pie holder in the exact middle of the table, then arranged paper plates and napkins with a slice on each, knowing what the two Guides liked. She smiled slyly. “More meat lover’s for me,” she said as she handed Blair and Mo a slice of veggie pizza each. Her fingers barely touched Blair’s when Riso groaned.

“Bo? What is it? What’s wrong?” Mo was immediately on guard watching the exchange instead of the gorgeous sunset.

Blair sighed. He’d learned that he couldn’t keep anything secret around his protectors.

“Jim’s coming. I’m... meeting him at the ferry... next Friday.” Each breath was shallow and painful.

Mo and Riso exchanged looks, then Mo put down his beer. He took the bottle from Blair’s shaking hands and put it next to his. Then he stood in front of Blair, forcing him to look him in the eyes. Mo rubbed Blair’s arms chanting “Breath with me. In… out. In… out. In… out. Slow down. That’s right. You can breathe. It’s okay, brother.”

Blair calmed a bit as he followed Mo’s lead. 

Riso, desperate to help, dug into Blair’s ever present backpack and retrieved his inhaler. “Should he take this?”

“Bo? Your lungs bothering you?” Mo asked.

“No. I...I… this is crazy. I… shouldn’t panic because… Jim’s coming. I’m alright now. Thanks, guys.”

Riso and Mo sandwiched Blair between them on the picnic table and encouraged him to drink and eat. They watched the spectacular display of nature’s beauty while Blair talked.

“Jim’s coming to visit. In just a few days. I don’t know what to do. I can’t hide anything from Jim once he gets here.He might get so angry he’ll swim back to the mainland.”

Mo bit into his second slice of pizza thoughtfully. “It’ll be tricky. He may be angry at first. But remember you are not alone. Bring Wolf and Mountie with you to meet the ferry. They could explain things, maybe tell Jim you were protecting their privacy.”

Blair’s eyes reflected the deep purple of the sky as he thought. “That might work. But only Wolf. Wolf is a Police Chief and Jim is a dedicated cop. He wouldn’t want to lose it in front of a superior. Mountie? No way. The last time Jim and I met a Sentinel Jim went insanely territorial, lost his fuckin’ mind and I died.” Blair hung his head, letting his hair hide his face.

Riso threw her pizza crust to a patient gull standing with one foot in the bay. She crossed her arms. “Jim is an asshat. He should be crawling on his hands and knees begging your forgiveness. He does not deserve the gifts he has been given by the Great Spirit. He has squandered his right to ask anything from his Guide.” She took a gulp of beer. “Ahhh… you know Bo, If he were to die a mysterious death in a secluded part of the res, you might be a free Guide again. I would have to check the loophole with Wolf…”

“Riso!” Blair exclaimed. “I love him! I don’t want any harm to come to him and I would never choose anyone else. I would rather die!”

Mo nodded and added sagely, “There is your solution, Bo. Tell him that. He needs to know his choices and their consequences. He deserves to know that bonding with you can save you. Tell him then go to Wolf and have him answer Jim’s questions. Explain his options. Your Sentinel may surprise you.”

“Your Sentinel is an asshat.” Riso opened another beer.

“But he’s my asshat.” Blair took a deep breath of cool evening air as the sun disappeared into the bay.

~~~0~~~

Blair kept himself busy fighting panic every time he was reminded of what day it was. He worked the weekend and actually enjoyed riding Goth through the busy campgrounds. The aroma of campfire smoke hung in the air. Muddy children shrieked “horsey” and parents begged for a photo of their darling on a police horse, held snugly in the arms of a handsome constable. 

Blair didn’t mind the diversion. It was more fun than handing out verbal warnings to obnoxious teens who never knew how close they came to being arrested for possession or on drunk and disorderly charges. Blair would sometimes start a conversation with a Guide/Sentinel pair enjoying the many public pow-wows taking place on the Island and looking forward to the Wiky pow-wow in August. They’d recognize him immediately as one of their own and share stories of how they met and where they worked on the mainland. They all made their pairings seem so natural and easy, he was at a loss to understand what had happened between Jim and himself.

Blair’s days off were Monday and Tuesday and if Wolf didn’t need him for crowd control at one festival or another he’d head off to do one of his favorite things in all the world.

Dig.

The Sheguiandah archeological dig was located on the west side of the Island close to where Riso grew up on the Sheshegwaning reserve on West Bay and where she and Mo shared a home. The dig was where Eli first met Wolf and Mountie in the late seventies. Eli had wandered onto the Wikwemikong reserve and a young warrior, Constable Maengun, had arrested him for trespassing. His partner, Cote, of the RCMP and he had argued about which police station would be best to book him at since he was from the States. Eli finally convinced them he meant no harm to the Ojibwe or any soul on earth. 

Eli never realized that they were Sentinel and Guide and had a grand time as their guest at the public pow-wow. Eli remained in touch with them always recalling that particular dig with fond memories of his night at ‘Dreamer’s Rock’ where he’d dreamed of being a college professor and a young curly haired student who would change his life someday. 

Because of his degrees, his expertise and his badge, Blair was given permission to dig at the site. It was a nondescript rocky hill, first discovered in the fifties. Artifacts of the oldest traces of man in Ontario, Paleo-Indian spear points about ten thousand years old, had been found there Controversy erupted when more artifacts under the Clovis Indian spear points were discovered dating to some thirty thousand years ago. Some said the older finds were deposited by glaciers or ancient lakes. Others said it indicated the existence of Paleo-Indian culture previous to the Clovis Indians. The site had been reopened a few times, the last time in 1992. But no definite answers were ever found. 

Blair had his own theory. That this unassuming hill might have been a gathering place for Sentinels. Blair could sense rather than see that this high point surrounded by woodland would be a natural guard tower. Sentinels might have been called here as far back as thirty thousand years ago and maybe longer.

Ironically, he policed himself. He had to make sure the site was protected and any artifact uncovered be turned over to a reserve constable for cataloging. Not a problem. He could do that. He occasionally gave a tour and explained the significance of the site to students, but mostly he dug in the dirt alone wearing shorts, a tee and his fishing hat, carefully brushing away layers of time and allowing himself to be lost for awhile in his own private Sandburg zone.

Lying down in a pit, his head nearly kissing the rocky earth, Blair busied himself using a boar bristle artist brush to painstakingly uncover an intriguing bit of white stone.

“Solid stone is just sand and water, baby,” he sang softly to the earth. “Sand and water and a million years gone by.”

Blair felt the fiery tingle of Mountie monitoring him, ready to ride to the rescue. Mountie’s senses encompassed the whole island and he routinely checked on the Wiky team and the OPP men on duty. He looked up and smiled at the mountain lion keeping him company. The big cat’s ears were pulled back and twitching.

“Geez, Rocky. I’m just singing, not in pain. Everyone's a critic.” Blair smiled to himself. He’d spent last night at Wolf and Mountie’s home playing cards with the gang. They’d played Uker rather than poker, but it was just as much fun to win the pot. He’d begun needing the proximity of his friends and the bond like an addict needs his drug of choice. It gave him strength as he waited for Jim to come.

He started another song. “Baby when you touch me, I can feel how much you love me, and it blows me away…”

Blair stopped his rhythmic brushing and closed his eyes. Jim would arrive in three days. Wolf agreed to accompany him and drive the old truck which Blair thought would distract and delight Jim until he could get him home to his cabin.

Blair took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He wouldn’t let himself think of what might happen then.

“Every little thing that you do, Oh, yeah every little thing that you do, baby, I’m amazed by you.”

Blair sighed and concentrated on a patch of white in the dirt. He doggedly cleared the area around it and an odd shape started to take form. Blair was used to uncovering arrowheads and spearheads and even pieces of broken rocks that were actually shaping or sharpening tools. But this was something else. 

Suddenly the rock became an image his mind could recognize. It was a statue of quartz that shimmered in the high midday sun. Blair grabbed a spray bottle of distilled water and a soft cloth and cleaned the statue. He took great pains to gingerly unearth the treasure. The figure was roughly wrought without much detail, but Blair gasped at what he saw. 

It was a tall figure clutching a spear with a smaller figure so close they were connected by stone. Blair turned it over reverently. The exaggerated outline of the smaller figure’s hand was resting on the tall figure’s back. It was a representation of a Sentinel and Guide at least thirty thousand years old. 

“Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man!” Blair cried out and his animal guardian perked his ears and took off at a run.

Blair laughed out loud. “Mountie!” Blair yelled after the fading figure. “If you can hear me, I’m fine, but you gotta see what I found, man!”

Blair lovingly stroked the statue with a gloved finger. “So beautiful!”

He suddenly found himself back at the fountain at Ranier. Same old, same old. Luminous green mists. The whole enchilada. He smiled down at the statue still clutched to his chest like a fussy baby. The fountain faded and he was back at the site of dig. Only instead of an archeology dig there was a campfire and a gathering of real live or rather phantoms of real live, Paleo-Indians, predating the Clovis.

It was the first time Blair had been delighted by a vision. It was literally an anthropologist's dream come true. He laughed with a joy he seldom felt in his own reality. Blair took in everything around him with his scientist eyes. The plants were different, the trees were unusually wide and terribly tall. The hill was higher and, sure enough, a guard tower of rough wood was hidden in the branches of a massive tree.

There seemed to be an altar made of stone a few feet from the site of the dig. The altar had many fetishes and stone figures placed on it along with fresh fruit and grains. Blair shook his head in amazement. The modern scientists had just missed it by a few feet.

Half the people in the somber gathering began to dance as Blair looked on. Both men and women danced, very unusual for the time. Their deerskin coverings were highly decorated with feathers and shells that jangled musically as the people still seated chanted in rhythm. 

Blair recognized that the tall dancers were all Sentinels. They danced not for themselves or each other but for their Guides. They faced their Guides and bowed in respect then flung out their hands as if in submission. The Guides finally joined the dance. Each Sentinel gathering their Guide close. They stopped dancing and a Shaman appeared carrying a carved wooden staff decorated with a single eagle’s feather attached with a green leaved vine. The Shaman touched each couple with his staff, whispering a blessing and each of the pair nodded in agreement.

Blair was deeply moved. He recognized the scene was an ancient bonding ceremony. He could feel the sparkling power in the air as it wrapped each couple in a divine light. He felt his heart would burst with longing.

“Ohhhhh,” he moaned as the vision began to fade. “Please, let me stay here. I don’t want to go back to the nothingness!” 

The Shaman turned to him and smiled. He spoke a strange guttural language but Blair understood.“Little guide, our time here is long gone. We are but cold stone buried deep in the ground. Your heart beats for us now. You breath for us now. You must live for us now.” 

“Oh, no. Please,” Blair begged. “It hurts too much.”

Mountie and Wolf were by his side in ten minutes. Mountie lifted Blair out of the pit as if he were a toddler who fell asleep curled up on a rug. Blair clung to the statue like the same toddler would cling to a stuffed toy. He wouldn’t let it go. He didn’t wake on the ride back to his cabin. He still didn’t wake as Wolf wiped his dirt streaked face and spoke softly to bring him back. Finally Mountie pried the artifact from his hands, wrapped it carefully in a towel and placed it on the kitchen table. Wolf removed Blair’s gloves and rubbed his cold hands to try to bring him around.

Only then did Blair take a deep gasping breath and opened his eyes.

“Easy, Bo. You are safe. Mountie and I brought you home,” Wolf spoke to him softly.

Blair shook his head violently. “Not home. Not home. I have no home. I want to go back, Wolf. Give me my stone. I want to go back there.”

Wolf had felt the power in the stone figure and could imagine what Blair had seen. To an anthropologist, it would have been a glimpse of heaven. “No. little brother. You do not belong with the spirits of the dead. They have no substance. You are fading, Blair, but still possess so much life. In a few days…”

Blair tried to get up and Mountie had to help Wolf hold him down. Blair struggled against the big man. “In a few days my life will be over! I won’t bond with him, I won’t! None of you can make me. I won’t consent to a bond of pity, when my heart wants a bond of love. I can’t live half a life. I won’t!”

Then Blair seemed to cave in on himself as he stopped struggling. Wolf and Mountie were silent, frightened by Blair’s words.

“We will not let you lose yourself, ma Boheme. We love you. We will find a solution. You must give us all time to find an answer. Promise me you will not harm yourself. Promise me you will wait till we speak to Jim before you do something you will regret.” Mountie shook him gently. “Give me your word!”

Blair sighed wearily. “I promise. I promise. But it... felt… like home.” He fell asleep with a heartbreaking wistful smile on his face. 

~~~0~~~

The next afternoon he would see Jim. His friends would not allow him to suffer in silence. They poked and prodded at his self pity and made him see that facing Jim was the only thing he could do. They’d fed him and loved him through the rest of week. He was really grateful despite his sulky ways, and counted himself blessed to have found such good friends. His team of Blessed Protectors where on hyper alert. But he knew a few tricks of his own.

He was staying at Mountie and Wolf’s and requested they make his special lasagne. Blair lit candles and poured the wine for the couple. He excused himself and went to bed early, but not before making sure that both wine glasses were full and a chocolate mousse was on the table. Sure enough, forty-five minutes later, he heard the sound of loving whispers and wine-heated kisses. After another forty-five minutes he left the cabin undetected.

At midnight on Thursday Blair sat at his favorite picnic table gazing at the moon as it held, holding court over the moonbeams that brightened the bay. This was the first time he had been alone since Tuesday’s vision. He rehearsed his greeting to Jim at the ferry, different scenarios playing out in his imagination, when he spotted a green shimmering light down the beach. 

Blair tensed. It didn’t seem like a vision, but it wasn’t a flashlight or a boat light. As a matter of fact Blair’s guide senses couldn’t feel anything at all, except a curious anticipation.

Blair jumped down and almost toppled into the sand. He regained his balance and walked slowly towards the eerie light. Blair began to feel strangely light as he approached. As if his sandaled feet were floating above the beach. 

The sandy beach became rocky and slowly disappeared, but Blair could see each stone highlighted in green and never stumbled. He came closer to the light and saw that it was coming from below an outcropping of land and rock jutting out over the bay. 

The water was an unusually shallow at this spot on the bay. Blair hesitated, not liking the fact that he felt compelled to jump into water that swirled with a green glow, but he wasn’t afraid. He jumped into the water making a splashing sound like a fish jumping up to try and touch the moon.

Blair took in a sharp breath as he found himself looking into a deep underwater cave. The water had receded enough that rock formations jutted out from the side of the cave leaving plenty of room to walk on. There was enough room to built a fire and sleep if needed.

The glow Blair had followed was centered at the far end of the ledge where a youthful Ojibwe warrior spirit sat on his haunches smiling at Blair. The spirit shimmered in an odd loincloth and cloak made of fish scales as large as Blair’s hand. The boy spirit moved to sit comfortably and patted the ground next to him, wanting Blair to join him.

Blair swallowed and cautiously entered the cave, not wanting to slip on the treacherous rock ledge and fall into the dark water churning below him. Like dripping daggers, stalactites splashed water noisily into crevices of the rocks below. Blair found a slightly higher dry spot and sat next to the spirit and lamely waved a hand. 

“Hey, man. Cool den you got here.” Blair cringed. That was probably not the way to greet a spirit. But the spirit laughed.

“Boozhoo, my friend! It has been so long since I’ve had a visitor. Not many these days are drawn to my welcoming beacon during the full moon.”

“Guess I’m just lucky that way. I’m Blair Sandburg,” Blair extended his hand. “My friends call me Bo... or Chief.”

The spirit nodded but didn’t take his hand so Blair withdrew it. “Thank you for the gift of your many names. I am called Gitchi Manitou, the Great Spirit of the Island. My forms are many. I hope this one pleases you.”

Blair really didn’t know what to say. “Oh, sure. It pleases me. I guess you’re really powerful, huh? Are you like a nature spirit?”

“I suppose I am. When I am angered great storms appear and my Island is scoured by the wind. I do not anger often though, my friend. Mostly I sing to my fish and water my wildflowers to make them grow. I am especially fond of starflowers. It is just their time to bloom.” The spirit tilted his head. “Not unlike yourself.”

“My time to bloom?”

“Oh, yes. You are the one. The Guide who will find the lost and return them to their brothers and sisters.”

“But I have no powers like you, Gitchi Manitou. My life is a mess right now.”

The Great Spirit smiled and stood up. He bent to kiss the top of Blair’s head. “It will go well for you, Chief. Your greatest storm is coming, but you will weather the tempest to embrace your destiny. You will be filled all the rest of your days with peace in your spirit and love in your heart.” 

Blair was moved beyond measure. He should have had a thousand questions to ask of the spirit but his mind was blank yet at the same time filled with a overwhelming joy. He sighed quietly and watched as the glow encasing the Great Spirit walked out of the cave, across the water and entered a moonglade. It continued to walk on moonbeams ever upwards till Blair could see nothing more than a twinkling star.

Blair sat still for a long time feeling at peace. The cave still glowed with soft light from the moon that was natural and beautiful. The lapping of the waved and the drip, drip, drip of the stalactites almost lulled him to sleep. The moon was now higher in the sky. He seemed to have lost some time. Maybe he had nodded off, he surmised.

After a long while Blair stood and stretched. He walked slowly towards the cave opening where the water was shallow before it dropped down into the deep cave pool. He stopped a moment to examine the beauty of a stalactite that shimmered like it was covered in fragments of stars. He leaned closer to see it up close without his glasses. His feet slipped from under him and he made a grab for the same stalactite he was studying. It broke off in his grasping hand, smacking him in the head and causing him to see imaginary stars. Blair lost his balance then and tumbled over the ledge.

He hit the cold water backwards and hit his back on a jagged underwater stalagmite. A white hot pain centered in his spine then climbed towards his throat. He silently screamed bringing water into his mouth. The pain pulled him under as he struggled to keep his aching head above water. Blair knew this was it. The point of no return. 

He could end it here. Let the cave take him, drown him and deposit his body in Manitowaning Bay like the huge fish in the old tale for his warrior Jim to find and mourn. Or he could live. He could push his battered body to swim for the cave opening and pull himself to safety. 

Outside the cave would be heartbreak and loneliness. But Jim would be there. And maybe that was a good enough reason to survive. He couldn’t do that to Jim. He couldn’t die without giving him his life back and saying goodbye.

But Blair’s legs were useless. He couldn’t get them to cooperate, so he made himself float on his back and paddled towards the cave opening.The black edges of unconsciousness tried to take him. He opened his eyes wide and called for Gitchi Manitou, forcing air into his lungs as he coughed and sputtered, keeping himself awake.

“Great Spirit! Please, help me! I don’t want to drown again.” 

A green light illuminated the cave entrance where Blair would be safe. Blair felt a surge of energy pulse through his body, giving him enough strength to make it to the shallow water at the mouth of the cave. He dragged himself through the mud and muck till he could feel rocks and sand pressing painfully into his upper body. With tremendous effort he clawed at the roots of plants till he found himself on a damp but soft patch of seagrass. 

He tried to calm his rasping breathing. He nestled his aching head into the grass, the sweet aromas of the shore soothing him and sending him into the inevitable blackness. He wasn’t aware of the strange clinging mist that covered him, keeping him hidden, but warm and alive.

“Jim. Come find me,” he whispered.

~~~0~~~

Mountie woke and smiled at the beautiful bundle in his arms. Wolf was spread over him like a lumpy natural fiber blanket. His long, dark hair had fallen in his face and hid his chiseled features. Mountie wove his fingers through the silky blackness and pushed it gently out of the way so he could kiss his cheek. Wolf mumbled something in Ojibwe and snuggled closer.

Mountie chuckled deep in his throat. Wolf’s stoic, warrior facade melted away in their bed. He was a sweet, caring lover and definitely a cuddler. Mountie was happy to oblige. He spread out his senses as he did every morning, letting Wolf have a few more minutes sleep.

Mountie then reached into Blair’s room and waited to hear his heartbeat. It wasn’t there. Blair wasn’t in his room or in the house. He wasn’t outside or in his own home. Not driving his jeep, not riding Goth. 

Mountie’s gasp woke Wolf. “What Mountie? What is it love? It is Bo?”

“Mon Dieu. I can not hear his heart beating at all!”

~~~0~~~

Jim thoroughly enjoyed his ferry ride. It gave him a chance to settle his nerves. The cool spray from the receding morning mists felt delightful on his skin. He imagined he could smell the sweet scent of a certain Island Constable on the breeze. He inhaled deeply with his eyes closed. Then popped them open in surprise. He couldn’t smell Blair, but he could smell the fishing pier on the Island and the aftershave of the first mate who was at the stern of the ferry. His senses were slowly starting to return the closer he got to Blair. Jim smiled to himself and found he was glad. He could be Blair’s Holy Grail again.

The ferry landed right on time and he was met immediately by Blair’s boss.

“Detective Ellison?”

“Yes, you must be Police Chief Maengun. Please call me Jim. Where is Constable Sandburg? Was there an emergency? Is he caught at work?”

Jim tried his best to act like a professional and not show his disappointment.

“Jim sit with me for a moment. I need to speak with you. And please, call me Wolf. Constable Sandburg, our Bo, is like a brother to me and that makes you family.”

Jim felt an apprehensive flutter in his stomach, but allowed himself to be ushered to a quiet sitting area. He sat down and Wolf knelt in front of him placing a hand on his knee.

Jim’s blue eyes grew wide in fear. “Oh, shit! He’s hurt isn’t he? Is it serious? Was he shot? Take me to him!” 

Wolf sighed, realizing that this Sentinel was a wildcat and out of control. He spoke to him with soothing authority. “We have not been able to ascertain his whereabouts this morning, Jim. He stayed with my partner and I last night and went to bed at about ten-thirty. He said he wanted to be well rested when he picked you up today. We awoke at seven and he was gone. We have not heard from him and that is not like him at all.”

“He’s missing? It is like him! It’s just like him to get himself in trouble and drive everyone insane with worry. He’s a trouble magnet. What have you done to…”

“Everything we can. My best team is searching for him as we speak. There is an Island-wide APB out on him as a missing constable. That is not taken lightly here on the Island and Bo is known and well liked by all. OPP will make locating him a top priority, I assure you. My partner is organizing search parties. Constables who have great… experience in rescue work. It has not been twenty-four hours yet, Jim. We will find him.”

Jim rubbed at his face with trembling hands. He cursed under his breath. He needed his senses. He needed his guide. “Fuck. I fucked up so badly, Wolf. In so many ways. I never should have let him go, even for a minute. I… I have to help find him. Tell me how I can help.”

“Of course you must. But I feel an obligation to Bo to make sure you are taken care of. Let’s get your bags and I will take you to Bo’s cabin, then you can accompany me to the Wiky police station and we will find out how the search is going and what is needed.”

~~~0~~~

Jim calmed after seeing the comfortable nest Blair had made for himself in the cabin. Blair’s scent was everywhere and Jim was finally able to detect it. He soaked his senses in it, nearly zoning on pure Blairscent but at the light touch of Wolf, came back to himself. 

Wolf drove them in the old truck to his office. Jim pulled up his shields and his badass face concealed the vulnerability and love he had accidentally revealed to the Chief of Police. Wolf kept conversation to a minimum, wanting to get to his private office and Mountie before telling Jim what he needed to know.

Wolf opened the door for Jim and waved him in ahead of him. Gem looked up and immediately gathered a handful of messages for her boss. She was about to greet Jim when Riso called out, striding towards the door with Mo trailing behind, his face dark with worry.

“Wolf! Finally! We have a big problem. My scent senses are damped out. It’s the only explanation. I know Bo’s scent. It’s strong and sweet like pinecones and honey. I can’t find it anywhere. Mountie, too. It’s just like he…”

Jim reacted immediately to the other Sentinel’s presence. “Oh, no. No, not again. Y… you’re a Sentinel! What have you done with Blair, bitch?” 

Riso turned with a fury in her eyes. “Who the fuck are you? You better get out of my face, scum or I’ll rearrange it for you.”

Wolf and Mo moved quickly, each having an overwrought Sentinel to calm.

Mo shouted at Riso, “Take it easy, Riso! This is Bo’s Jim. He doesn’t know what’s going on and his guide is missing. Give him a break.”

Wolf spoke softly to Jim. “It is alright, Jim. This is Riso, one of my constables. Bo must have mentioned her, correct? She thinks of Bo like a little brother. We all do. She would never harm him. Come to my office. I’ll explain everything I promise.”

Jim glared at Riso who snarled back as Mo pulled her towards the break room. Jim set his jaw and hissed at Wolf. “So help me if she… if any of you have hurt one hair on Blair’s head…”

“Threats to my Wolfie?” Mountie moved quickly and grabbed Jim’s arm in a vice-like grip and ushered him towards Wolf’s office. “I could arrest you for that, Jimbo. I would kill you for even thinking about harming him. But we have better things to do, Like finding our little boheme. Come.”

Jim felt strangely meek in the presence of the old man. He gave a nod and let himself be led to the office where he was pushed into a chair. Wolf took his seat behind his desk and Mountie crossed his arms and watched Jim try to look like a badass and fail miserably in this company.

Wolf cleared his throat at the postering Sentinels. “I will be brief. I expect you to listen, Jim and hear me. We do not need to waste time while Bo may be suffering.“

Jim nodded slowly. Wolf’s tone caressed his fluctuating senses. It made them even out and made him want to obey. “Your voice. You’re a Guide, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Jim. I am a guide and Mountie is my Sentinel. He is my bonded Sentinel and wedded husband. Here on this island that is not unusual. Riso and Mo are also a bonded couple. There are a few more pairs on the Island and every year Sentinels and Guides from all over Canada and other countries of the world meet here at our pow-wow.”

“You are not alone, Jimbo.” Mountie said gently. “I wish we had met under better circumstances. I am your brother Sentinel and I welcome you.”

Jim looked Mountie up and down, scanning him. The prickly sensation of impending doom he had felt when he met Alex wasn’t there. Instead, he felt a blessedly warm, soothing comfort for his frantic nerves. Mountie’s scent was powerful, like gun powder mixed with the smoke from a seasoned oakwood fire. But Jim felt no fear. He breathed deep.

Mountie chuckled indulgently. “That is right, mon fils. Breath in my scent. Know me. You have nothing to fear from me.”

“Jim,” Wolf got his attention. “Eli did not know. We do not trumpet our existence. But if someone is drawn to us by the Great Spirit, we do not hide from them. I never told Eli I was a Guide and Mountie a Sentinel. I wish I had been perceptive enough to find Bo and make the connection sooner, but I think it was not meant to be.”

“For a few months I had been dreaming of a dying blue-eyed wolf. Then I heard of a man in Cascade, Washington who had written about Sentinels yet had told the press it was all fiction. I was intrigued. I had never heard of a Sentinel in the States. I called my old friend. Eli told me in confidence that Bo was a Guide to a Sentinel in Cascade.” 

“Eli had no right. Blair threw his life away to protect me! How dare he… how dare you...” Jim shouted.

Mountie interrupted. “Jimbo, you have stopped listening to my Guide. You have raised your voice to my Guide.That is not wise with me in the room.”

Jim felt chastised, but it felt right somehow. “I’m sorry. Go on.”

Wolf glanced at Mountie with a lovingly grateful look. Mountie grunted and blushed. Wolf continued. “Eli had been watching your Guide since he was drowned and revived. He was well versed on Shaman lore and feared Bo was fading. He hoped I would know a legend or some Ojibwe rituals that would help. I finally told him the truth. I offered to bring Bo here. I am sorry I took your Guide from you without your permission, Sentinel. But I believe the Great Spirit had a good reason and will soon reveal it to us.”

“I… I don’t understand. I never rejected Blair. I mean, I did in the past. I did some incredibly stupid things when we were dealing with Alex, the only Sentinel I ever met before this. But we worked it out. He’s my best friend…”

Mountie moved quickly, banging his fist on Wolf’s desk. Jim jumped in his seat. Wolf was unflappable as always.

“That beautiful soul is your Guide! You have not bonded with him. You have rejected him and left him to fade unto death. You are a Sentinel! This should not even be possible! How could you do this to a Guide? A sweet, trusting, loving Guide you were meant to protect with your life. I am disgusted with you!”

“Mountie enough!” Wolf stopped him. “They didn’t know! Neither had any true guidance from the brothers and sisters. Where were we when this crazed Alex attacked our brothers? Where were we when she needed guidance? Hiding from the world in comfort and safety?”

“I am disgusted that we did not sense them, seek them out and bring them home! Are we so selfish now that we would let our little brothers stumble and fall because of borders? Show me the line that separates them from us. A lake can be crossed. A mountain climbed. A valley visited. Mountie, we should be ashamed,” Wolf said.

Jim was shaking with emotion. He had many questions but only one seemed important. “What do you mean, Blair is fading?”

Wolf took a moment to calm himself before answering quietly. “There is a bond, Jim. A vow every Guide and Sentinel must take in order to flourish. It is like a marriage vow. A bond that lasts forever. It cannot be broken except by death.”

“This bond increases the powers of Sentinel and Guide and brings them to fulfilment,” Wolf continued to explain. “There is always deep love, but it is not always consummated physically. Sentinels and Guides can marry others and have children, but they cannot live apart. They draw strength from each other everyday.”

Mountie stepped towards Jim and put a hand on his trembling shoulder. “Bo has bonded with you in his heart. But it is not a true bond. It is only one sided. When that happens, the Guide fades. He becomes weak and finally dies from a broken heart.”

Jim stood and grabbed onto Mountie’s arms. “He’s dying because of me? All this time he knew and didn’t tell me?”

“He did not want your pity, he wanted your love.” Mountie told him. “Wolf and I hoped that when you got here, we could make it right but... “

“You think he’s dead? You think he killed himself last night? Oh, no, no. I would know. I would know if…”

Jim found himself for the first time in his life wrapped in the fatherly arms of a true Sentinel. He melted into the big man who was even slightly taller than himself and gave into his emotions. “No, no. He wouldn’t,” Jim sobbed out the words while trying not to let his tears fall.

 

Mountie held him tight and rubbed his back. “We don’t think so, but he was very, very distraught. He has been drawn by visions to the spirit world many times since he had been here and we are worried that other world has a hold on him.”

“Mountie,” Wolf said gently. “We need to get back to looking for Bo. Ask him.”

“Jim, how are your senses? Are they working?”

Jim took a deep breath and composed himself, eager to help in the search for his Guide.”I… I lost them when Blair left. When I went to Blair’s cabin they came fully back online. His scent is so strong there.”

Wolf and Mountie exchanged looks. “That is good, because the Sentinels searching for Bo, including Riso and myself, have suddenly not been able to detect his scent. We tried using his clothes to evoke a scent memory and nothing worked.”

“No, I can smell him. And… I have memory scent too. His scent is slightly different now. Like some facet of his aroma has changed. But it’s still my Chief.”

Wolf smiled at the endearment and added, “perhaps only Jim is meant to find him, to save him. Come let us go back to his cabin and start there.”

~~~0~~~

Mo had taken Riso to the stables to saddle up Goth thinking the horse might lead them to Blair. Jim was introduced quickly to Gem and received a hug as Wolf scanned his messages. There were no leads on Blair’s whereabouts.

They used the siren and lights on Blair’s Jeep to get to the cabin as fast as possible. Once there, Jim used his senses to drench himself in Blairscent. He was compelled to pick up the statue Blair had found on his dig, still safely wrapped in a towel on the table. Jim unwrapped it carefully, marvelling at the simple representation of Sentinel and Guide. He felt a surge of power run up his arm. He looked questioningly to Wolf and Mountie.

“Bo unearthed it at the dig. He said it may be thirty thousand years old. He said it gave him visions.”

Jim stroked the smaller image of the guide. “This is full of spiritual power. Maybe it could…”

His thoughts were interrupted by a blue-eyed wolf that appeared by the door, whining and pulling his back legs behind him. It crawled to Jim, sighed and closed its eyes. It was clear the animal was dying. Jim knelt and stroked its fur, listening to its shallow breathing. 

“I will not let him die again! Mountie give me your hand. You know the island, spread out your senses. I know Blair’s scent. I’ll piggyback on your senses.” Jim put down the statue, then gritted his teeth with determination.

Mountie nodded his understanding and let his senses go. Jim took Mountie’s hand and held tightly, nearly overcome with the speed, light, sounds and scents that came through Mountie to him. It was like looking through a camera lens on a high speed jet to the ground below. 

With Mountie’s help, Jim searched the Island’s coves and rocky beaches. They searched the woodlands and the city alleyways. Jim filtered out all scents but Blair’s, desperately focusing his sense of hearing, searching for the precious heartbeat of his guide. 

Mountie slowed slightly as he passed Riso and Mo on horseback and OPP Constables searching the jagged cliffs and rocky beaches below. Mountie slowly brought his focus to his own guide who was calling them back. 

Wolf rubbed Mountie’s arm and said softly, “It’s been too long, come back, my love.”

 

Jim shivered in the August heat as Mountie gently broke the connection. Jim fell to his knees and waited for his world to stop spinning. A sorrowful whine from the blue-eyed wolf brought him all the way back to the homey kitchen and the worried couple speaking to him gently. Jim t dragged the wolf into his lap, burying his hands in its fur. 

Jim looked up at Mountie with anguished eyes. “Why can’t I find Blair?” Jim cried. The wolf whimpered and feebly reached up to lick Jim’s cheek. He pulled the wolf closer. “Why are you here, Mutt? You must know where he is. What do I need to do?”

Jim looked into the blue eyes of the timber wolf. He knew these eyes so well. They were Blair’s eyes, but more so. The blue pools were deep with sorrow and pain. But the joy and love Jim had come to seek out in his own Blair’s eyes were there also. It made Jim’s heart hurt to find these treasures so deeply buried.

“Chief, don’t you want me to find you? Have I driven you to this? Hiding from your Sentinel?” Jim buried his face in the shaggy coat of the wolf, his eyes brimming with tears. “What have I done, Chief? Please, please let me make this right. Please let me find you, baby.”

Mountie had his arm around Wolf’s waist as they watched Jim curled around Blair’s spirit guide. They were startled as Mountie’s phone chirped for attention. Mountie picked it up and listened a moment. “Oui, merci,” he responded to the caller.

Mountie sat down next to Jim on the floor. “It will be dark soon, Jimbo. They want to end the search for tonight and resume in the morning. They have called in rescue divers.”

“Divers?” Jim asked.

Wolf moved to stand behind Jim and placed a hand on his shoulder in support.  
“Oui. They will search for… the body…”

“Noooooooooo!” Jim screamed as the wolf in his arms howled.

~~~0~~~

Blair opened his eyes and blinked several times. It didn’t help to clear his vision. He was lying on his back on the shore and should have been able to see the sky. But there was a misty film in front of his face. He tried to move a hand and clear away the fog, but his fingers couldn’t pass through what looked like the shimmering fish scale cloak of Gitchi Manitou.

“Ahhhhhh. “ he managed. “Can’t see squat. Head hurts. Arms tingly. Legs numb. Fucked. Yeah, I’m fucked.”

Then Blair noticed what he wasn’t. He wasn’t bleeding. He wasn’t cold. He wasn’t wet. He tried to move, but a searing pain ran up and down his spine.

“Jiiiiiiim! Find me, help me!” He called out.

He thought he heard the wind call out Jim’s name adding its voice to his feeble cries. Blair tried to call again but the surge of strength he felt at awakening was fading fast, like him. He turned his head slowly towards the bay and closed his eyes. 

The green mist was all around him now. Blair sighed as his spirit rose and looked down at his own broken body lying under the spirit cloak by the quietly lapping waves of the shore. In his spiritual state he was not surprised to find Gitchi Manitou beside him.

“Boozhoo, Chief. You are badly injured. I am sorry you have to overcome this obstacle in your life.”

“Am I going to survive?” Spirit Blair asked calmly.

“You are going to make a choice.”

“I’m paralyzed aren’t I?”

“Yes. Your body is very weak. If it is not found soon, it will not be found alive.”

Spirit Blair cocked his head and looked at his body, puzzled. “My Sentinel is searching for me. But he won’t be able to find me under that cloak. Why have you hidden me from him?”

“Have not you hidden from him in life? You hide your love for him in a dark pool, like a greedy fisherman who will not share his catch.”

“You don’t understand. Jim loves me, but he can’t bond with me. It would destroy his carefully constructed life. I won’t hurt him like that!”

The old spirit shook his head at the youth by his side. “Your body’s death is near, Chief. Do you wish to go with me now?” The Great Spirit took Blair’s hand. Blair smiled as peace twisted around his being, filling every corner but one with a deep sense of joy.

“Ohhh, it’s amazing isn’t it? But I… I… can’t leave Jim like this. I… I have to talk to him first. Explain to him. Release him.”

“Would not finding you dead from an accident be kinder than breaking his heart?”

“No… I… he doesn’t love me like that. He can’t commit to me. I need to explain it to him. I’m his Guide. I need to tell him he’s free to find another Guide. Someone who will give him everything he needs.”

“You will have great hardships to overcome, Chief. You will not be able to walk upon the earth for many moons. It may be easier for you to come with me. Do you want your body to die?”

“No! No. I don’t. I want to live, Gitchi Manitou. I want to live and settle things with Jim. After that… I may take you up on your kind offer.”

The Great Spirit smiled and bowed his head. “As you wish, Chief.”

Blair shivered as his spirit re-entered his body. 

~~~0~~~

“Sentinel! Come back. Your Guide needs you.” Wolf demanded, patting Jim’s cheeks gently. Jim came back to find himself resting on the couch his head on Mountie’s leg, Mountie’s strong arm keeping him from sitting up too soon. The spirit wolf had disappeared.

“Easy, mon fils. You have been gone a long time.”

Jim looked around. It was nearly sunset. “I zoned? Mountie we need to search with our senses again. We need to find Blair now!”

This time they were interrupted by Wolf’s phone. This time Jim listened in.

//Wolf it’s Mo. Goth is acting really strange down by the bay. Rizo’s riding him and he keeps running up to this one spot then whinnying and stomping to beat the band. But he won’t go closer to the spot. It’s like there’s a snake or something there. I don’t see a thing. But I’ve got a spooky feeling.//

//Where are you?//

//About a mile or so down from the public beach near Blair’s cabin.//

//We will be there momentarily, Mo.//

~~~0~~~

Jim spotted Mo and Rizo on their mounts just a mile up the beach. Goth’s black mane was fluttering in the breeze as the horse shook his head violently from side to side. Rizo was having a hard time controlling the usually placid animal.

Jim gasped for breath as he ran up to the Constables. Wolf was behind him and Mountie had stopped to call for backup. Jim searched the shoreline for any sign of his missing Guide. Then a Sentinel soft whisper floated on a breeze to his ears.

“Jim? Jim, please…”

Jim heard his name and knelt beside a sparkling mist a few inches off the ground.  
He could hear Blair’s heartbeat and smelled his scent. Jim knew Blair must be nearby yet he still couldn’t locate him. Jim tried to wave away the mist but it solidified in his hand into a cloak of green fish scales. He pulled it away and found Blair sheltered beneath it. A gust of wind plucked the covering from Jim’s hand and it floated away across the bay. 

“Chief?”

“JimohmanohJimyou’rehereohman!”

“Easy, buddy. Easy. Let me check you out, Chief. I don’t want to hurt you,” he said as he ran his sensitive fingers over Blair’s body. 

A large bruise stood out on Blair’s forehead, his pupils were dilated. Concussion. Breathing wet and raspy with a slight fever. Possibly pneumonia settling in. Jim took in a breath when he felt the heat radiating from Blair’s back. He focused and saw that his spine was injured, swollen halfway down his back. The realization overwhelmed him. Tears welled in his eyes and he carefully lowered himself to the ground and snaked his arms around his Guide’s shoulders and buried himself in Blair’s essence.

“Blair, Blair. I missed you so much, So sorry, so very sorry. Love you, Chief. Never should have let you go.”

Blair smiled and tried to comfort him. ”S’ok, Jim. Don’t… you cry. Gonna be...fine…”

“Blair? Blair? Don’t you dare leave me, again. Not now, not ever. Blair?”

Jim sensed more than felt Mountie’s hand on his shoulder. Telling him silently to let Blair go. He did so reluctantly. He was somewhat relieved that Blair was mercifully unconscious by the time the EMT immobilized him on a backboard. Jim helped lift the gurney with his disturbingly lightweight Guide into the waiting ambulance. 

On the short ride to the hospital, Jim took Blair’s hand in his. “Blair, please, baby. There’s so much I gotta say to you. I need you to hear me. I gotta tell you I love you and not like a brother, yeah like that. See? You’re gonna want to hear that. And how about all these Sentinels and Guides?” 

Jim looked up cautiously at the EMT to find him winking. Jim shook his head and smiled briefly. Another long lost brother found. ”Chief, tell me how you kept that a secret, huh? You must have been in Sandburg heaven. You must have almost bust a gut keeping all this from me.”

“Huuuh. ‘im. Jim?”

“Right here, baby, I’m holding your hand.”

“Spirit walked… green light. Great Spirit… was gonna take me… .”

“Shit, Blair. No mumbo-jumbo right now. I need you to hear me.”

Blair found he couldn’t move his head, but Jim’s worried face was right above him. “You ‘k, Jim?”

“No, baby. Not ‘k. I need you to stay with me, Blair. No talking to little green spirits. No following any lights, blue, green or rainbow…”

Blair smiled. “Rainbow. Pretty.”

“No, Blair. You stay with me. You’re mine and I’m yours.”

“Mine?”

“Yes, I’m yours. I want you by my side for a long time.”

Blair closed his eyes and sang softly. “Forever and ever. Every little thing that you doooooo…”

Jim watched as his newfound love drifted off on a cloud of unconsciousness.

“Baby, I’m amazed by you,” he whispered as they arrived at the ER.

~~~0~~~

Jim was frustrated. It had been twenty-four hours since he had found Blair. His Guide had woken up a few times, but he was heavily medicated and would giggle or sing rather than listen to Jim’s heartfelt words. Jim was convinced Blair wasn’t even aware of the severity of his injuries were or what was happening to him.

Normally, Jim would have been out of his mind with worry, but Blair’s friends nearly smothered him with loving care in Blair’s stead. He found Wolf’s voice and touch could stabilize his senses almost as well as Blair’s could. But Wolf couldn’t help him control the ache in his heart. 

The Manitoulin Island hospital east wing staff was good at their specialty, taking care of Sentinels and Guides. Doctors were trained in how to deal with their ultra-sensitive natures.There were no waiting rooms, except outside the OR. The attitude was that there were two patients when a Guide was injured. Jim was never forced to be separated from Blair. Jim learned his lesson quickly. Guides were as gifted and even more revered than Sentinels. A Sentinel was nothing without his Guide.

They had several rooms specifically designed to accommodate the needs of Guides and Sentinels. As much as possible, the rooms resembled cozy sitting rooms. Chairs were large and comfortable. A reading light, table and books were provided. A simple bed on casters was tucked in a corner for an exhausted Sentinel’s comfort. The walls of the room were soundproof, painted a tranquil terracotta and decorated with native artworks. Doors were well sealed to keep out harsh odors. Soft recordings of sea and forest sounds played over speakers. 

Visiting Sentinels were brought simple foods often. Hypoallergenic blankets, pillows, soaps and large shower rooms were provided. Sentinels were encouraged to stay with their beloved partners the entire time they are hospitalized. Guide’s’ rooms had larger beds than normal to encourage Sentinels to hold and nuzzle their ill soulmate all they wanted. Jim was told it aided in a Guide’s recovery and if a Guide was tragically alone, there were trained Sentinel volunteers eager to help.

When Blair first arrived in the ER. He was immediately identified as a Guide and sent to the special unit. Jim was acknowledged as his Sentinel. Jim was encouraged to help with his exam, keeping hands on Blair at all times. Blair needed x-rays and Jim was given an option of waiting behind a glass partition or donning lead proof gear and staying with his Guide. He chose the later, amazed at how well the staff knew what he and Blair needed.

Jim helped Blair get settled in a room, while technicians spoke softly to Blair and told him everything they were doing and why. They explained that a guide could spirit walk right out of their body when under duress and kept encouraging him to stay with his Sentinel and not wander off. Jim was delighted when Blair held his hand, even though his grip was dangerously weak. 

The jaguar was diligently licking the grey wolf in the corner and Jim was amazed when Blair’s doctor entered and smiled at the vision.

“That wolf is getting a thorough bath, isn’t he? I am Doctor Martel, I specialize in Guide care. You are the Sentinel?”

Jim nodded and tried to ignore how bizarre the whole experience was. 

“Your Guide is doing very well,” Dr. Martel said. “His concussion is not severe so we were able to give him pain medication.The damage to his lungs from his previous drowning incident is a cause for concern, but his lungs are clear at the moment, his temperature tends to fluctuate and we are watching it closely.”

Jim couldn’t wait anymore. “His back?”

The doctor sighed and sat on the edge of Blair’s bed. He motioned for Jim to sit in the chair close by. He patted Blair’s still, blanket covered legs fondly.

“Your Guide has a hairline fracture of the thoracic vertebrae, T9. It is located here.” He touched his own back briefly about halfway down the spine. There is swelling which is to be expected, but luckily the vertebrae is not dislocated. At this time it is manifesting in partial paralysis of both legs and weakness in his arms and hands. As the swelling goes down, his symptoms should become less severe. As a precaution we are going to operate and place stabilizing pins along side the T9 vertebra.”

The doctor’s soft words hit Jim like a Mack truck. “Paralysis? His legs? How… how bad?” Blair had complained of a numbness in his legs and hands, but Jim had hoped it was from bruising. Blair’s explanation of how he got hurt was sketchy and seemed to hover between reality and fantasy. 

“I believe his arms and hands will return to normal function as soon as he is more aware and moving around. The paralysis he is experiencing is not complete. He has some feeling in his legs and unfortunately can feel some discomfort and pain. This indicates nerve damage. The operation will help keep any more damage from happening until he heals but we will not be able to repair the nerves. He is lucky in that only his legs are affected. With physiotherapy and time he may regain use of his legs, but for now he will need to wear a back brace, use a wheelchair then gradually move to forearm crutches when his strength returns.”

Jim wiped his face with his hand, trying not to display the screaming emotions he felt. His question was slow to come, as if his mind was trying to reject what he’d just heard.

“He won’t be able to walk?”

“Not for some time, Jim. I spoke to him about his injuries and his operation, but I doubt he understood. He was trying to tell me about a vision and wasn’t listening to me. I’m going to reduce his morphine drip so that he is lucid this evening and can understand what will happen to him tomorrow. I will be happy to talk to him, unless of course if you’d rather be the one to tell him about his condition initially. Let me know when you need me to go over the details of his operation with you both.”

Jim nodded and tried to clear his throat of the lump that formed there. “I’ll tell him. You’re a Sentinel, aren’t you doctor.”

The doctor smiled. “I know what a treasure he is to you. My Guide is also my wife. She has blessed my life for twenty years now. Which brings me to another concern. Constable Cote told me that you and your Guide are from the States and not bonded. I’m afraid this has left him in a greatly weakened state overall. He is extremely underweight, one of the first signs of fading. I am concerned that he may face pneumonia or infection due to his lowered immune system.”

“I want to rectify that, Dr. Martel. I want to bond with him. We… never understood what it could mean. I would never endanger…”

“No, Jim. I’m not judging you. I want to help you and your partner get through this trying time. But from a medical viewpoint, you do understand that it is most important for you to stay by your Guide’s side physically, mentally and spiritually. The mental outlook of an injured Guide is most important. If you reinforce the partial bond by constant contact, it will help immensely. Strengthen the bond you do have and help him heal. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

As long as he was helping Blair, Jim didn’t care what the doctor asked. “Shoot, doc.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.” Jim was amazed at how easy it was to say now.

Dr. Martel sighed in relief. “Good. That is good. For he is your Guide and very ill. To deny him the bond is… unthinkable in my opinion. Reassure him that he is wanted and loved. Give him a reason to continue to grace the world with his presence.”

“I’ll try. But you don’t know my Guide. Stubborn as a mule and kicks twice as hard when cornered.”

“Don’t they all, Sentinel? Don’t they all?”

~~~0~~~

Jim anxiously waited for Blair to come out of his medically-induced fog. He looked around at the tubes and monitors Blair was hooked up to. The nurse had pointed out a brain function monitor adapted from a pediatrics monitor for use on Guides. She explained that strong Guides can fall into a trance after an accident, reduce their heartbeat and breathing and sometimes feign death. It was an ancient survival instinct that the modern Guide usually is unaware of and a very dangerous one. 

A Guide can’t wake himself from such a state. The legends of Shaman dying and coming back to life were probably based on this obscure trance state. Regretfully, there had been cases years ago of guides who appeared brain dead on normal equipment and were unknowingly left to perish. Jim shuddered thinking of what might have happened at the fountain if he had given up.

He watched the brain monitor needle spring to life as Blair moaned, “Jiiiiim?”

“I’m here, buddy. Take this, that’s right.” Jim was ready with ice chips. He smiled when Blair licked his dry lips and opened his mouth like a baby bird for more. “Good, huh?” Jim asked as he gave him a few more. “Now, how about opening those beautiful blues all the way for me?” 

“Jim? You’re here? Where’s here?” Blair looked around puzzled.

“You’re still on the island, Chief. In the hospital. A really neato hospital, by the way. Made just for little Guides like you.”

Blair chuckled, but then stopped with a pained look on his face. He swallowed and spoke slowly but clearly this time. “Neato? Okay, Wally. Why am I here?”

“Well, Beave, What do you remember?” Jim hoped the light banter would hide his anxious breathing and trembling heart.

Blair furrowed his brow and tried to reach for the small monitor leads attached to his forehead. His hand faltered halfway and his arm dropped. Jim caught it and cradled it in his own. “Easy, Chief. None of your famous moves just yet.”

Blair frowned at Jim. “I… what’s going on? I feel like shit on a shingle. Why am I so weak?”

“It’s okay, Chief. I’ve got you, babe. Try to remember the last thing you did.”

“I… snuck out of Wolf and Mountie’s cabin. Oh, you don’t know…”

“I met the whole gang and more, Chief. Nice team you got there.You were missing since Thursday night. It’s Saturday evening now.”

“Oh,” Blair said quietly.

“Yeah. Oh.”

Blair sighed. “I’m sorry, Jim. You must have been worried when I didn’t show up at the ferry.”

“Don’t worry about me, Chief. Your buddies took real good care of me.”

“You know?”

“Yeah. They filled me in on everything, babe. Everything.”

Blair blinked a few times, then tried to smile.

“Did you freak out? Bet you freaked out.”

“Only when I found out my partner was missing in the ‘Land of the Sentinels’. That was a tense moment.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

Blair closed his eyes for a moment and Jim caressed Blair’s hand with his thumb.”Chief? Stay with me now.”

Blair opened his eyes and smiled sadly. “Jim. I’m really glad you’re here.” He gave Jim’s hand a squeeze, but then stopped abruptly.

“I remember. I snuck out of the cabin and went down to the beach. I saw a green light and followed it to an underground cave. The Great Spirit of the Island was there in a shimmering cloak of fish scales. We spoke for a little while. Oh, man. Oh, man.” 

“What happened then, Chief?”

“I… slipped. Hit my head and fell… Jim? My legs. I can’t move my legs! Why are they numb? What’s wrong with me. It’ll get better right?”

Jim sprung to his feet as Blair remembered. He slid cautiously into the bed and gathered his partner’s upper body in his arms and held him close. He spoke softly in his ear. “Blair, you hurt your back. There was a hairline fracture to the vertebrae and it affected your legs. They’re going to operate tomorrow morning to stabilize the fracture. You can go home a few days after that. You’ll be in a wheelchair, babe. For a while, but with work, you’ll walk again. I promise, I’ll be there for every step you take.”

“No!” Blair tried to push Jim away, so he backed off a little. Blair’s eyes may have been brimming with tears, but his teeth were gritted. “No!” He snarled. “No! You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to make everything better with false promises!”

“Not false, Chief. There is hope. You have to fully recover first and that will take time. Especially because of the shape you’re in since we never bonded. Your friends explained to me what has been happening to you, Baby. But I’m here now and I’ll make it better.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t call me endearments like you love me. Don’t make me death bed promises out of pity! Even if I could stand, I won’t stand for that!”

“Chief! I love you! Yeah, I’m a neanderthal and it took me forever to figure it out, but I do love you.”

“Ellison. I know you better than you know yourself. I know you’d give up your life for me if I asked. But listen up! I’m not asking. Tell me the truth. Did your senses disappear when I left?”

Jim decided to go along for the ride to ‘The Sandburg Zone.’ He mentally fastened his seat belt.

“Yes. Almost right away.”

“Did you miss them?”

“I missed you.”

“Ellison! Did you miss them.”

“No.”

“You see? If I’m gone, you get your life back. You get your plain old detective job back, your uncluttered loft, your nice, normal uncluttered life without me. I want that normal for you. I love you and I want to give you that happiness.”

“You love me, so you’ll fade away?”

“I told you, Jim. You’re it for me. The love of my life. My Sentinel, my heart, my soul. After meeting other Guides, I understand now. I did you great harm. I.. I didn’t know what it would mean to love you. I never meant to but you in a position where you would have to bond with a weird gay man you barely tolerated as a roommate. I see it all now. The Great Spirit said I would face a storm. I think this is it and maybe I’ll survive after you’re gone. But only if I break the bond. I’m so sorry, my Sentinel, my Jim. I release you.” 

Jim heard the jaguar roar. He saw it pacing angrily back and forth in the blue-tinted jungle. Waiting for the release it had no desire to have. Jim knew if he accepted Blair’s words he would be free of his senses. Free to be normal. The jaguar would return to the deepest part of the jungle never to be seen again. 

But the wolf would perish. He knew Blair was wrong. There was no happily ever after. No breaking of the one-sided bond. Blair would die.

A voice called to him. A hand patted his, not gently. “Jim? Oh, no you don’t. Don’t zone on me, man. Fuck. Not now.”

Jim shook his head to clear it of the blue vision. He needed to reach Blair. To tell him in just the right words how very wrong he was and claim this beautiful hurting Guide for his own forever. He needed a little time.

“I’m going to get your doctor, Blair. You look exhausted and he wanted to explain your operation to you.”

Blair smiled at that and it broke Jim’s heart. “Okay, Jim. You don’t have to feel obliged stay. You can stay at my place. Just tell me when you’re going back to Cascade, don’t leave without saying goodbye… I… couldn’t take that right now.”

Jim squeezed his hand and left the room. He waited in the hall till he heard the heart wrenching sobs. He would give Blair a little time to mourn his loss. Both real and imagined. Jim was a badass cop but he knew when he needed to call for backup. He asked the floor nurse to find Dr. Martel, then pulled out his phone.

~~~0~~~

Blair had just finished with the doctor when Wolf and Mountie came in. Blair was exhausted, he felt hollow inside his soul. Physically, his back was throbbing, his back brace chaffing his bruised skin. The doctor had explained everything to him in detail. He would be confined to a wheelchair for a long time. Life as he knew it was over. He was thoroughly despondent and indulging in a good sulk. But Wolf and Mountie had ruined it just by walking in the room.

Blair sighed as the essence of his friends’ bond and their love for him spread sunlight over his dark thoughts.

“Ma Boheme, it is good to see you awake,” said Mountie. “You are a little shit to have worried us so. I will have to sharpen my wits as well as my senses when we get you home.”

Wolf placed a gentle hand on Blair’s forehead. “You must not worry about anything, little brother. You still have your job. Your bills will be paid, your cabin ready for you when you leave the hospital. I made sure all the paperwork went through on your health forms and you have full benefits as an injured constable.”

Mountie took Blair’s hand, lifted it and kissed it. “Yes, Bo. Your family will take care of you. All you must do is rest and recover.”

Blair’s breath hitched at the sweet words. “Thanks, guys. I guess Jim filled you in?”

Wolf nodded as he straightened Blair’s errant curls. “Yes. Do not tire yourself by repeating the details. You need all your strength for tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow. The operation, yeah. I … I need you two to do something for me. It’s very important to me.” 

Wolf moved on to rubbing Blair’s shoulder as Mountie answered. “But of course, anything.”

“I need you to take care of Jim. If anything happens, he’ll blame himself somehow. I don’t have much, but everything I have is his including my dissertation. Make sure he gets home safe. Maybe you could call Simon, Captain Banks, and have him come meet Jim and take him home?”

“What is this talk?” Mountie demanded. “You will be fine and you and Jimbo will take care of each other.”

Blair raised his free hand to gesture, but it was only a feeble wave. “No. No, I released him. I told him to go home. I want to make this sacrifice for him. Even though I don’t think I’ll survive without him.”

Mountie squeezed Blair’s hand not wanting to let go. He sent a desperate look to Wolf, who ignored Blair’s outburst and asked instead, “I would like to hear what the Great Spirit said to you first hand.”

Blair took the question as agreement. He shut his eyes and tried to recall the exact words for Wolf. “Gitchi Manitou bent over me and kissed the top of my head. Then he said, ‘It will go well for you, Chief. Your greatest storm is coming, but you will survive to embrace your destiny. You will be surrounded all the rest of your days with peace in your spirit and love in your heart.’” 

Wolf and Mountie exchanged worried glances. Wolf commented, “This is not exactly what you told Jim. Did you mean to worry him?”

Blair averted his eyes. “No, I… I guess I meant to ease his guilt and push his pity away.”

“Bo, what the Great Spirit said gives me great hope. He says you will survive, to embrace your destiny. There is no doubt of your survival as Jim’s Guide. How else would live in peace and love?”

“Then I got it wrong. It was the concussion or the morphine. What really happened was I saw the moonlight reflected in the cave, went to explore and fell. Nothing more.”

Wolf tilted his head. “What about the mystical fish scale cloak that protected you till Jim arrived? Did Detective Jim imagine that?”

“Sentinel and Guide mumbo jumbo makes him crazy. It was just an illusion, a trick of the fog.”

Now Mountie added, “what of your vision at Dreamer’s Rock? You saw yourself happily bonded to Jim, back in Cascade, working together again.”

Blair turned his face away and said softly, “Just a dream. A beautiful, perfect dream but a dream nonetheless. I… I’m really tired. Thanks for everything. I love you guys. Give my love to Mo, Riso and Gem. Ask Riso to tell Goth I love him and I’ll miss our morning rides.” 

Blair closed his eyes and waited till he heard his friends leave to open them again. The black wolf and the mountain lion stood guard over the softly panting grey wolf in the corner of his room.

“Thanks, guys,” he muttered. Blair fell into a restless sleep. He never noticed Jim’s jaguar crawl under the covers and lay a large comforting paw on his chest.

Jim entered Blair’s room a short time later. A hint of a smile graced his mouth as he saw the menagerie at Blair’s bedside. When Jim had left Blair, he’d headed to the Wiky office to talk to his new family and enlist their aid. He met with a force of nature named Gem and found himself eating a wholesome meal. Then Mo accompanied Jim to Blair’s cabin where Jim showered and changed. Mo fixed a thermos of coffee to go along with the bag of homemade donuts Gem had given Jim. Mo drove him back to the hospital, happily answering all his questions about the care and feeding of Guides. 

Jim put a finger to his lips as the animal spirits wagged their tails at him. The jaguar lifted his head and yawned, but didn’t move. “Stay,” Jim whispered. He plopped his goodies down on the table and went to his partner. Jim marvelled at how beautiful he was. The red highlights of his hair spread out against the pillow and his pouting lips against his too pale skin made him look like a sleeping angel accidentally fallen to earth. Jim thanked his lucky stars that he had been there to catch him.

He whispered a kiss on Blair’s forehead and patted his jag. He yawned himself and settled into the recliner. Sandburg might not know he was there or even want him here, but he was sure his Guide did. He reached out with his senses and found Blair’s heartbeat. He concentrated on sending comfort and love through the partial bond as Wolf had advised him to do.

Blair stirred slightly then hummed in sleepy contentment. A small smile graced his lips as he settled into a healing sleep. Jim smiled brightly and reached for a donut.

~~~0~~~

The next morning Mountie sat with Jim in the waiting room outside the OR. The Wiky crew had to get back to work. Constable Sandburg was sorely missed. Mo and Riso had their hands full with car accidents, young people partying hardy and an island full of demanding tourists. Wolf, accompanied by his partner’s mountain lion spirit, had to answer a call about a heated land dispute.

Jim gratefully held the older man’s hand not feeling awkward at all. Mountie was helping Jim monitor Blair during his operation. Jim was able to relax and listen to what was happening as though he were listening to a ball game in his truck radio. He was able to make conversation during pauses and had no fear of zoning. Jim could feel the bond beneath it all giving Mountie a strength that he shared with Jim, who in turn shared it with an anesthetized Blair.

“Mountie, I… I want Blair so much. I love him so much. But I’ve never been with a man.”

“You wish for me to give you pointers? Perhaps a … demonstration?” Mountie teased.

Jim gave him a shove and smiled shyly. “No. I just mean. I know him. In order for us to bond, I’ll have to romance him, you know? Convince him that I find him desirable. How do you romance a guy who’s seen you scratching your ass in the morning and eating day old Wonder Burgers stashed in your truck? Not the stuff of fantasy, my friend.”

“Ahhhhh. Wolfie is not big on romance. He does not like, what is it, public displays. He is also not big on romantic words. He constantly teases me about the terms of endearment I use. Even though I mean every one from the heart.”

Jim nodded. “So what do I do to win him? Blair is real big on words. What should I say?”

Mountie frowned for a moment, “You play a sort of soccer game in the States. Football, but with safety equipment and a pointy ball, I am right?”

Jim smiled at the description. “Yeah, close enough.”

“Well you do not talk to the ball. You grab it from the air, hold it close, protect it and make it your own. Ca va?”

Jim pondered the sports metaphor. “You mean, action. Show him I really love him.”

“Oui. A man loving a man is just a human being loving a human being. If a man has lost at love, he needs security. If a man has never been in love, he needs a safe harbor. If words fail, action is needed. For each man there is something that will win his heart. You and Bo are very close already. You know here,” Mountie poked Jim above his heart, “what would make Bo believe you love him.”

Both Sentinels rose in unison when Dr. Martel spoke from behind the closed operating room doors, telling them that the operation went well and that Blair is doing fine. Mountie pulled Jim into his arms and kissed both his cheeks. Jim let out a muffled, “He’s good, Mountie!” 

A few minutes later the doors to the OR opened and Blair’s doctor stepped out, smiled and gave them a thumbs up.

~~~0~~~

Jim was once again back in Blair’s room waiting for his love to wake up. Blair was out of recovery after answering a few pertinent questions about his name and where he was, promptly fell asleep. Jim had to be careful not to zone on the steady blip, blip of the heart monitor. Blair now had only one IV placed in his too thin arm. He would be back on morphine shortly, but this time Blair could choose his own dosage. Jim hoped to have a few lucid moments with him when he woke.

“Ooooooh, man. Like, what hit me this time?”

“Easy, baby. You did great. The operation’s over. No complications.”

“Jim? Why are you here? You gonna say goodbye now? That’s harsh, man.” Blair’s eyes began to fill. “Go away, Jim. Come back later.”

“Nope. Not goin’ no where, no how, Baby!”

“You fuckin’ teasing me? You prick! I… I can’t even move to fuckin’ punch you in the face!”

“I love it when you talk dirty, Chief.”

“Oh, yeah? Get the fuck out you asshat. How’s that?”

Jim was a little taken aback by the venom in Blair’s biting words and the utter despair in his hooded eyes. He searched his mind for just the right action. He used his sense of touch to crawl on the bed till he centered himself over Blair without touching him, afraid to cause him pain. 

“What the fuck? Get off of me! Are you insane? You fuckin’ trying to intimidate me?” Blair’s face was red with rage waring with exhaustion.

Jim carefully let himself down on his elbows. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He let Blair see his private fifth face. The one Blair had never seen. The one that was open, vulnerable, wanting and so much in love.

Blair stilled and sniffed. His lips quivered and tears escaped slowly from the corners of his overbright blue eyes. “Jim what are you doing, man? Please leave. Please leave me alone.”

Jim began to sing, quietly and slowly. He was no singer, but his voice was full of sincerity and love.

“The smell of your skin.”

Jim leaned down to Blair’s neck and inhaled the fragrance that was all Blair. He gently nuzzled and kissed his neck. Blair gasped and moaned in shock and pleasure.

“The taste of your kiss.”

Jim raised his head and stared at Blair’s mouth. It was full and ripe and he had to taste.

Blair’s breath hitched then he opened his mouth. When JIm kissed Blair, Blair sobbed. Blair tasted of salt and incredible sweetness. Honey and tears. Love and sorrow. Jim plunged in, lost in sensations he never felt before. This beautiful man was his. This was his Guide and he was finally claiming him. He slowly pulled away, allowing Blair to latch on and bite gently at his bottom lip. He sang again.

“The way you whisper in the dark.”

“Jim.” Blair whispered. “Oh, man.”

Jim bent to gently lick away the salty tracks of Blair’s tears.

“Your hair all around me, Baby, you surround me.”

Jim moved his hands and entwined them in Blair’s abundant hair. He brushed his nose through the soft mop and rubbed his face in the springy curls The aroma of pure soap and Blair made him utter a moan. He lifted his head and spoke the next line.

“You touch every place in my heart.”

When Jim smiled at his Guide and a miracle happened. Blair smiled back. Jim caught a laugh in his throat and continued.

“I don’t know how you do what you do. I’m so in love with you.”

He nodded at the wide blue eyes under him looking at him with a dawning wonder.

“I wanna spend the rest of my life; With you by my side; Forever and ever.”

Jim closed his eyes and took a breath. He gently kissed Blair’s nose then rested his forehead lightly on Blair’s and whispered, “Every little thing that you do, Baby, I’m amazed by you.”

Jim kept his eyes closed for a moment. He was hyper aware of Blair’s ragged breaths even without his senses. “Jim? Jim you sang to me. You don’t... sing.”

“Love will make you do crazy things, Chief.”

“You love me?”

“Blair Jacob Sandburg, I love you with everything I am and everything I will ever be.”

“You really love me. Like really, really love me?”

Jim raised his head and opened his eyes. “Really, really, Baby.”

“I love you too.”

“I know.”

“Jim?”

“Yeah, Chief?”

A hiccupped sob escaped from Blair’s throat. “I’m broken, Jim. I can’t walk. I…”

“Shhh. I know. I don’t care. I’ll take good care of you and I’ll dance with you on the day you can.”

Jim didn’t wait for an answer. He kissed Blair with everything he had and left him exhausted and panting. Jim knew he was hurting.

“Blair, Sweetheart. You need to rest. I’m going to sit in my chair and hold your hand. You are going to use your morphine pump and go to sleep. I promise I’ll be here when you wake up and we’ll talk about what to do next.”

Jim carefully extracted himself and handed Blair the button for the morphine. Blair closed his eyes and waited for the drug to dull the pain in his back. Jim got comfortable in his chair and held Blair’s hand as promised.

“Jim?”

“Yes, dear?”

Blair giggled. Jim smiled.

“How did you know I loved that song? Why did you sing to me? You really meant every word didn’t you? Can that be our song. Like if we, like, need a song for something?”

“Because I love you. Because I love you. Yes and yes. In that order.”

Jim chuckled at the look on Blair’s face as he puzzled out his answer.

“Jim?”

“You need to sleep, Chief.”

“You mean love me like love, love me right? I mean like sleeping together and other things?”

Jim lifted Blair’s hand and kissed it. “All the things, Blair. I don’t just go around kissing any man. And I’ll never sing for anyone else.”

Blair’s dopey grin made Jim’s heart flip, his face showed it.

“Baby, I want all of you. I want to bond with you to keep you safe. I want to make love to you to keep you satisfied. And someday soon I want to marry you and grow old with you.”

“Wow, man. Coooooool.”

“Blair, sweetpea. Close your eyes. Go to sleep. Do you have any pain?”

“Noooooooo.”

“Good. Just relax into it.”

Blair was blessedly quiet for a few moments. Till his eyes popped open again

“Jim? Do I get to call you endearments?”

“Sure.”

“Like… my sweet baboo?”

“No.”

Blair snorted. “I snorted. How about snorty?”

“I don’t snort Blair. You do. Do you want me to call you snorty?”

“No. I guess people will call me gimpy or crippled guy, huh?”

“Not around me they won’t and I’m planning on being around all the time.”

“Jim? I’m scared. I don’t want to be disabled.”

Jim leaned over and stroked Blair’s cheek. “I’m here, Baby. And all your friends are here for you, too. We’ll get through it together, Now sleep.”

Blair sighed and closed his eyes. “Okay, love.”

Jim smiled, hit the red button once more and sent Blair off to sleep. But not before Blair opened one droopy eye and asked, “love is good?”

“Love is great, Baby. Love is great.”


	5. Chapter Five

The dog days of summer were well underway and Blair was kept entertained by a steady stream of visitors and calls from the States, Cascade PD Major Crime unit in particular. Simon had tried to reach Naomi but failed. He settled on leaving explicit messages with several of her friends. Blair finally received a letter with exotic postage. He tucked the letter into the book he was reading and never opening it. That night, Blair held Jim close in their shared hospital bed and thanked him for giving him the only home he had ever known. Jim made a silent vow to always let Blair know how welcome he truly was.

Blair struggled with his physio and his new vantage point on life from a wheelchair. Jim stayed by his side, learning what he needed to do to take care of Blair at home. Independance was the goal, physically. But Blair’s heart became more and more dependant on the man he loved. Neither Jim nor Blair wanted it any other way.

It had been nine days since Jim had found Blair hidden by the shore. They sat together in Blair’s room. Jim was stretched out on the recliner and Blair was face front in his lap reading a biography of Charles Darwin. Jim was entertained by listening to Blair’s enthralled comments and cataloging how many hairs made up an average curl on his guide’s head.

“Jim,did you know Darwin’s last published work was about earthworms?”

Jim watched the curl he’d been fingering spring out of his hand as Blair turned his face up to look at him. Jim loved it when Blair looked at him over his glasses. It made him want to throw his glasses across the room and ravage the dorky professor. Jim adjusted himself in the chair. Such thoughts with Blair’s body nestled against him, squirming as he half-turned on his lap were not good. At least not good here in the hospital He cleared his throat.

“No, Baby. I didn’t know that. And all I know about worms are that they’re good for fishing.”

Blair smiled, reached up and kissed him briefly. Then the smile drifted away and he abruptly returned to his book. Jim noticed the change. He took the book gently from his hands and put it aside.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

Blair shrugged. “Just… another thing.”

“Another thing?”

“Like riding Goth or driving my Jeep. Fly fishing with you. Another thing I won’t be able to do anymore.” Blair looked down, his hair hiding his eyes.

“Blair, that’s not true! All your friends have been busy researching things that will help you. Mo told me when you’re ready they can get you a special Freedom Rider saddle for handicapped riders. Wolf said he has an eye on a hand control van in Sudbury’s impound that you could drive. Don’t keep these depressing thoughts to yourself, Baby. You can’t expect to be strong enough to do these things right away, It’s been over a year since you… drowned and you began to fade. It will take time for you to heal. But the world is still open to you. It’s up to you to push through the door.” 

Blair sighed. “Jim I don’t know if I can get through this. I have to keep reminding myself that I can’t do the things I used to do. I hate feeling this helpless. I don’t want to drag you down with me. You just found your love for me and now I’m a burden to you. It’s not fair! None of it is fair. I’m fucked! Blair grabbed his book and threw it across the room then added his half empty cup of tea for good measure. Jim held him through his tantrum, making sure he didn’t hurt his back.

“It is fucked up, Chief. But it would be really fucked up if we hadn’t found each other when we did. I love you and I don’t care if you can walk as long as I have you and that beautiful mind, not to mention that Shaman spirit, I could give a flying fuck about the rest, Baby.”

Blair looked up his eyes wide with sincerity.

“I’m blessed to have you, my love. You always know what to do or say.”

Jim gently tipped Blair’s face towards his and kissed him. Kissing was fast becoming Jim’s favorite sport. He took a breath and kissed Blair’s nose and was rewarded with a cute snort. Jim loved that sound. He smiled as inspiration hit.

“Hey! We can still go fishing, Blair. You may not be able to wade into a stream for a while, but we’ll adjust. We’ll buy a boat. You could even go out by yourself then, if you wanted to.” Jim paled a bit at that idea, but he knew enough not to smother his Guide with this overprotective Sentinel persona.

“A boat? You’d buy a boat for me?”

“Sure. Just a little outboard. Something we can drag behind the truck. You know what else we could do? When your upper body strength is good enough for you to paddle, we could rent some kayaks. Take on the Columbia river together.”

“Jim. You really want to take me back in Cascade with you, don’t you?”

“I’ll stay here if it’s what you need, Blair. Don’t think for a moment I would ever let you go off on your own again. This Island is a miracle to me. We have a community here, a family. I know that. You’re respected as a Constable and Guide. You’re loved for yourself. It will be alright if we stay. I can work for the OPP. Mountie is ready to adopt me and has already hinted at it. Subtle as a sledgehammer, that one.”

Blair nodded. “I’d hate to leave, I think we could be happy here. But I can hear Cascade calling me too. It misses its Sentinel… and its Shaman.”

“That’s the first time you’ve said that as if you believe it.”

“I know it in my heart. I think I always knew it. I keep thinking about my research for my dissertation. I’m not afraid any more, Jim. I can… sense other Sentinels out there, desperate for help. I can help, even from a fucking wheelchair. I know I can do that.”

“You want to publish your book, don’t you?”

“No, Jim, I… don’t know what to do. I only know I won’t do anything that might hurt you.”

Jim hugged him close. “Don’t get upset. We’re just talking, making plans. That’s a good thing. I… I’d like to talk to Simon about it when he gets here next week, but I think maybe you should publish. What if there are other American Sentinels out there who need our help? What if there is even one hurting kid out there, thinking they are the only one. That was me, Chief. That was you. Me, feeling like a freak, denying what I could do. You forever alone, endlessly searching. I can’t see selfishly protecting myself now that I’ve witnessed what Sentinel and Guides can truly be.” 

Blair nodded. “Wolf has spoken to me about completing my doctorate at Laurentian University at Sudbury. I’ve actually spoken quite a few times to Dr. Hebert, the head of the School of Anthropology. Not about my diss, but about my findings at the dig.”

“No artifact is supposed to be removed from the site under Ontario’s Heritage Laws, but the doc gave me special permission,” Blair explained. “Artifacts are catalogued and stored at the university. I spoke to him the other day about the statue I found. He’s crediting me with the find. That’s like being ‘Cop of the Year’ in anthropology land. He’ll let me keep it till the Wiky pow-wow is over. He’s a cool guy.” 

Blair, in bright eyed anthropologist mode, warmed Jim’s heart. “Does he know about Sentinels and Guides?”

“Yeah. Wolf and him are pals. He told me he met Eli at a conference once.”

Jim sighed. “It’s beginning to seem like your sacrifice on my behalf was unnecessary. I’m so sorry, Blair.”

“Jim, we didn’t know that at the time. Haven’t you noticed that unless you are a Sentinel or Guide, no one speaks of it? It’s a matter of being hidden in plain sight. If you grow up hearing of guys with heightened senses being cops or whatever, it seems normal to you. It’s a cultural thing like how no one is bothered by long hair here on the Island. We still don’t know what could have happened to you if I published in the States without the knowledge and support we have now. It was a circus, and we were the monkeys! You could have lost your job, your home, your sanity and I probably… “

“Would be dead by now, for real this time.” Jim closed his eyes, silently thanking all who could hear him for the precious soul in his arms.

Blair tried to turn sideways on Jim’s lap. He picked up one leg and moved it to rest on the arm of the chair. Jim knew his guide wanted to be closer. To be face to face. 

“Let me,” Jim said softly. Blair nodded and placed his arms around Jim’s neck. Jim lifted Blair up a few inches then settled him across his lap.

“Jim, I love you so much,” Blair nuzzled into Jim’s neck. 

Jim inhaled. Blair’s scent tingled as it went straight to his brain. There was nothing as truly intoxicating as Blairscent.

“God, Baby. I love you too. I can hardly wait till the bonding ceremony next week.”

There was a knock on the door. Blair turned a bit and called, “Come in, but whether I’m decent, or not is debatable.”

Dr. Martel opened the door. “Ahhhh. In good spirits I see. And sitting as close as thieves. Good, good.”

“What’s up, Doc, “ Jim winced as Blair elbowed him and gave him the Sandburg look of disdain.

“Don’t disrespect my Doc, Jim. He says when I can get out of here.”

Dr. Martel smiled and sat on the bed. “How does tomorrow sound?”

“Really?”

Dr. Martel smiled at Blair indulgently, but turned to address Jim. He had a habit of speaking about Blair as if he was mentally incompetent and Jim were his stalwart guardian. Blair knew it was a Sentinel thing, protect the poor dumb little Guide. But since Dr. Martel had an amazing way of soothing the pain right out of his body with his sensitive Sentinel hands, he didn’t complain.

“Jim. Your Guide is doing extremely very well under your constant care. Even though your bond is not complete, he is healing at a good rate. His upper body strength is good.The tingling of arms and hands has regressed. His back is less painful now that the swelling has gone down. He is showing some strength in his legs and can stand in place for a short time with assistance.”

“This is all very encouraging. I am hoping when you bond, we will see the last of the fading. Already his lungs have improved. And last but not least by a long shot, he has stopped losing weight and has gained one pound. Weight gain is an important part of the criteria I use to judge when to release my Guide patients. They must show signs of thriving before I release them to their Sentinels and I pleased to say that Blair finally is.”

Jim swallowed the lump in his throat caused by the doctor’s words. “Thanks, Doc. You hear that, Chief? You’re thriving. You can come home.”

Blair smiled up at his Sentinel, bemused at being treated like a precious prince with a hearing problem. He patted his Sentinel on the chest and watched him try to hold back his emotions, like a thunderhead trying to hold back the rain. Jim never looked more beautiful or more in love. If he were still unsure of how Jim felt about him, one look at that open face bright with hope would leave no doubt. Blair had to tease him just a little. “I heard, big guy. You get to take home the booby prize.” 

~~~0~~~

Blair was sent home on a Monday in a special edition sports wheelchair - a long distance gift from Simon, Major Crimes and Blair’s friends at Cascade PD. It looked more like dune buggy than a wheelchair with oversized wheels for tracking over sand and dirt and a bright orange framework of heavy duty aluminum bars. Blair was delighted and there were a lot misty eyes among the tough cops when Blair called Simon on a conference call to thank them all. 

When they got to Blair’s cabin they were greeted at the door by the Wiky team. Slight modifications had been made by Mountie to the cabin. He had a great number of talented volunteers from among his amies at OPP to help him. 

They installed a wheelchair ramp alongside the front steps. They added an extra kitchen cabinet unit so staples could be stored lower down a wheelchair accessible sink with a pull out food prep table. A wheeled cart made appliances like the coffee maker accessible. Luckily, the bathroom didn’t have a tub, but a large shower. With a few modifications and lots of safety equipment, it was ready for Blair’s use. 

Blair loved how his friends had cleaned and decorated his cabin with banners and balloons for a festive welcome home party. The table was groaning with food and the fridge full of beer and soft drinks. But the sight he loved best was his horse, Goth, tied up with Wolf’s horse, Animikee, Ojibwe for Thunder, under a shady tree.

“Goth. Oh Goth!” Blair exclaimed at the sight.

Jim didn’t need to be told to help push the wheelchair towards the whinnying horse who came alive on hearing Blair’s voice. Goth didn’t shy away from the chair, but rather reached down his long neck and nuzzled Blair while grunting his disapproval at Blair’s condition. 

Blair hugged his four legged buddy and rubbed his neck. “I missed you too, boy. I missed our rides. Yeah, I know, pretty boy, this wheely thing sucks, but I got hurt and I can’t ride you anymore.”

Goth mouthed Blair’s hair and pulled it as if wanting to go for a ride with his partner. Jim looked pleadingly at Mo, who jumped into action.

 

Mo grabbed a woman in full riding gear and brought her over to them. “Bo, this is Brenda Gaffney from ‘The Four Feathers Ranch’. She’s an equine therapist over there and I set up an appointment for you.”

Brenda smiled and patted Goth. “Please to meet you, Bo. Goth and I are old friends. Police horses are so calm and adaptable we sometimes borrow them for group demonstrations in our therapy work. When your doctor approves, we can use Goth in your sessions. For someone with your type of injury, riding a horse duplicates the gait of walking and can help strengthen leg muscles. I think you’ll find it fun too.”

Mountie and Wolf came over and Wolf settled his antsy horse with a few whispered words in Ojibwe. 

“What do you say, Bo? Want to get back in the saddle?”

Blair pushed his hair back behind his ears and turned grateful eyes to his friends. “I say I can’t wait, man!”

Jim held back a sigh at how beautiful he looked with the sun highlighting his curls and his blue eyes shining with gratitude.

Later that night, when the horses were stabled and the party leavings were cleaned up or put away, Jim carried a sleeping Blair from their recliner to their newly decorated bedroom. Jim gently placed him on a sea of soft bedclothes in shades reminiscent of blue and green beach glass. Blair was wiped out but peaceful in his dreams. Jim undressed Blair and got him into his back brace, then tucked him in under the light summer blanket and kissed his forehead. 

He looked down at him softly snoring and felt a wave of gratitude crash against his heart. Soon they would bond and Blair would be his forever. It was thrilling and frightening. He never thought he could love anyone like he loved this beautiful man. He gently patted his covered leg. Blair’s disability made no difference to him whatsoever. He loved this man soul deep and beyond. 

Jim grabbed a beer and wandered out to the porch. There were a thousand stars visible over the bay and the view of the milky way was dazzling. The night air was cool and fragrant and filled with the sounds of tree frogs and cicadas. Jim reached out his senses, unafraid with Blair so close, and sought out the mountains and splashing streams of the Cascades that called him back.

“Soon,” he whispered on a sea breeze and sent his message to the mountain winds. “Give me this time to heal our Shaman and I’ll return him rested and strong to you, I promise.”


	6. Chapter Six

The bonding ceremony took place when the last rays of the sunset left the earth in silhouettes and shadows. On a remote part of the reserve far from the celebrations of the public pow-wow a fire burned bright in a stone circle. An altar of stone stood to one side already filled with gifts of flowers and fruits and statues of Guides and Sentinels made of clay. Two more circles of stone ringed the fire, providing primitive seating for the community.

A dozen or so Guides sat at the inner circle while their Sentinels stood by their sides. Family and invited friends of the community sat at the outer circle the overflow simply sitting on blankets on the sandy ground. A short distance away was the bonding wigwam. The ancient design was made anew. The round structure was made of bent greenwood branches covered with bark and hides. 

This year was special in many ways. Blair had told of his vision of a bonding ceremony to the Ojibwe Shaman. The Shaman was very old and blessed Blair when he told him what he saw. He called him “The Great Guide who had been foretold,” and pressed him on details of the vision. He then had the young folk of the tribe duplicate what he saw. 

Riso had pressed her mother and her talented friends into service making the clothes Blair saw in his vision. Mo wasn’t thrilled with his loincloth, but Riso was thrilled with her embroidered, shell studded tunic and her authentic hand wrought spear.

Simon, Joel and Megan had flown in for the ceremony. Entranced, they sat with Gem who explained about Sentinels and Guides in general and the ceremony in particular. Gem pointed to the right. “Oh, here they come. Don’t they look like ancient warriors!”

Two horses approached at a steady slow walk. Mountie and Jim were dressed in long buckskin fringed pants and knee high boots of the same material. They both wore a thickly woven leather vest heavy enough to deflect an arrow, and layers of shell necklaces. They held their Guides firmly in front of them on their mounts. 

The guides wore loincloths and a rope belt strung with deerskin pouches of aromatic and healing herbs. They were barefoot and their ankles were encircled with strings of jingle shells and feathers. A similar collar was around their necks. They each held their Sentinel’s spear across their lap. 

At the same time, the flap of the wigwam was opened and the old Shaman of the Ojibwe was accompanied to his stone seat by Mo and Riso. Mo was dressed the same as Wolf and Blair. His feet made a musical rhythm as he walked, he blushed down to his loincloth when Riso gave him a long glance and a sultry smile. Riso wore deerskin moccasins and the beautiful tunic her mother made for her. He long hair was woven in an intricate braid and decorated with flowers and eagle feathers. She held her head and her spear high as Mo lay down soft blankets over the stone and helped the Shaman to settle on his seat.

Mountie and Wolf dismounted with the grace of years of practice. Wolf took the spear from Blair and tended to the horses as Mountie helped Blair down from the horse and set him on his feet letting Blair hold him tightly to keep himself upright. Jim dismounted and took Blair in his arms carrying him just a few feet to a stone near the Shaman.

Jim bowed to the Shaman as Wolf gave him his spear. He walked over to the altar and placed the quartz figure of Sentinel and Guide among the other tributes. It sparkled with an inner light as Jim reverently backed away with his fist resting on his heart. Wolf sat next to Mo and Blair as Riso, Mountie and Jim took their places standing with the other Sentinels.

The ceremony began with a wave from the Shaman’s intricately carved wooden staff. The drummers began a steady heartbeat rhythm as the guides chanted and clapped their hands slowly. The Sentinels banged their spears on the ground three times, then faced their guides and began a simple dance moving in a slow circle while stamping their feet in an exaggerated display of walking the boundaries of their territory. They passed their own guides three times before stopping in front of them. There was a sudden silence as the Sentinels laid their spears at the feet of their Guides and knelt before them, heads bowed.

Blair looked at Jim kneeling in front of him. He had never seen anything so utterly beautiful. Jim glowed in the firelight and Blair felt himself transported to another time. Beads of sweat pooled at Jim’s neck, he was panting softly and his chest muscles expanded against his tightly woven vest. His necklaces jangled with each breath. Jim wasn’t supposed to look at his Guide, but he raised his chin just a little and winked.

Blair smiled and rolled his eyes, the otherworldly spell broken. It was just Jim. The man he loved. Blair followed the other Guides in placing his hands on Jim’s head and saying what Wolf had taught him.

“Like sea to shore. Like wind to tree. Like clouds to rain. Like sun to corn. I bless you my Sentinel and complete you.” 

The Sentinels jumped up howling and bouncing dancing in their joy. Around them some could hear the animal spirits joining in with howls, roars and screeches of their own. Blair looked up at Jim’s face as he laughed and whooped along with the others. To be the cause of such happiness was more than he could comprehend.

The drums began again and the Sentinels pulled their Guides to them for the bonding dance. Jim pulled Blair carefully into his arms and held him tight against his chest. It didn’t matter that Blair’s legs trembled. He held him and swayed to the beat of stomping feet and jingling shells. The other couples moved around them and continued the dance. Jim buried his head in Blair’s neck and whispered,”I never knew I could love like this. This is right, this is real. You in my arms. Safe, warm and alive. I love you and I’ll never let you go.”

When the dance was over, each Sentinel sat on a rock facing the fire with their Guide nestled against their chest. Sentinels joined hands with Sentinels, Guides joined hands with guides. Mo and Riso smiled as they grasped hands with their friends. Wolf and Mountie helped the Shaman stand and walk the circle in front of the couples. He stood before Jim and Blair and spoke. Wolf translated.

“Boozhoo! Welcome! Sentinels and Guides from far away and close to our home. We stand together in love and trust. Guardians of the earth. Watchers and walkers ever vigilant, ever wary, yet ever merciful.You tribe honors you and blesses you!”

The Shaman stamped his staff on the ground three times and a shimmering mist came out of the end. It sparkled like a million stars over the heads of the Sentinels and Guides, then floated on a breeze over the rest of the family and friends then dissipated into darkness among soft cries of awe. The Shaman continued. Wolf’s voice was clear and deep.

“The bond between a Sentinel and Guide is a force unbreakable. It binds you and releases you to be all you are destined to be. You honor us by sharing your bond.” Again the old Shaman hit the ground three times with his staff.

The Guides and Sentinels closed their eyes and let their bonds travel to the hands grasped in their own. Blair and Jim gasped as one as a powerful force travelled through them. Blair cried out as he felt strength return to his body. 

The Shaman placed a hand on Blair’s head and whispered, “There, there little guide. Allow the bond to heal you. Let your loved ones care for you.”

Jim whispered in Blair’s ear, “You okay, Chief?” Blair nodded with tears glistening in his eyes, he leaned closer to Jim unable to speak.

A few more people cried out as pain left their bodies. Soothing words were spoken to those affected, and a soft chant was taken up.

The Shaman lifted his staff and silence fell. The Sentinels and Guides let go of each other's hands. And Sentinel arms wrapped around their precious Guides. The Shaman spoke and Wolf once again translated. 

“Sentinels and Guides, your tribe welcomes you to re-affirm your bonds as a new Sentinel and Guide pledge themselves to each other and experience the bond for the first time.”

The Shaman gingerly sat down as Wolf and Mountie as the oldest Sentinel pair performed the next part of the ceremony.

Mountie gathered Blair in his arms. “Stand before me, Sentinel,” he commanded Jim. “A precious gift is given unto you, our guide. Do you promise to protect, care for, cherish and love him till you draw your last breath and follow him beyond to dwell eternally with the Great Spirit?”

Jim swallowed and said with conviction, “I do.”

“Listen to me, Guide,” said Wolf. “A grave responsibility is given to you, our treasured Sentinel. Do you promise to protect, care for, cherish and love him till you draw your last breath and follow him beyond to dwell eternally with the Great Spirit?”

Blair whispered, “Let me stand, Mountie.” 

Mountie shuffled and helped Blair steady himself. Blair gently pushed Mountie’s hands away and stood unaided facing an astonished Jim.

“I do.”

Blair took one hesitant step before falling into the arms of his Sentinel. There was a thunderous noise as everyone whooped and clapped for the couple. Blair’s friends were on their feet hugging each other and wiping away tears from their smiling faces.

Jim reached down and gently lifted Blair’s chin and gazed at his glowing face. His hand wandered across the broad shoulders and bare back of his guide. He fingered the feather and shell collar. He whispered, “Baby, I’m amazed by you.” The kiss was electric as the bond was sealed. 

The old Shaman mumbled the ancient blessing as he lifted his staff and touched Jim and Blair on the head. The altar glowed with a green light and the laughing figure of The Great Spirit raised his hand over the offerings. Blair’s found statue beamed its inner light over the crowd, touching everyone with a green-tinted mist that protected all from evil spirits this night. The Shaman’s staff flashed and sent glimmering sparks into the night sky floating upward to heaven.

They held each other tight as the world spun around them in a dizzying display of their lives past, present and future. To those who could see, the bond encased the couple in a soft tremulous light. Jim and Blair deepened their kiss. They felt each other’s tender hearts as the bond melded their very souls. They broke apart gasping, panting, eyes wide and shining bright. They knew that they were now one soul with two hearts and would never again be alone.

Blair grinned as Jim picked him up in his arms and gave him a slight toss in the air. Blair threw his arms around his neck.

“Jim you feel that? he laughed. “That was transcendent, man!”

“Yeah, I felt it. I felt you. You took a step, Chief. Your first step!” 

Blair nodded into Jim’s broad chest. He still had a long hard road of healing ahead of him, but it was a beginning.

“My last step alone and the first of countless steps with you, my Sentinel.”

Jim’s face turned towards the precious bundle in his arms. Blair shifted and touched his cheek. It was a face he had never seen before. Blair smiled and Jim’s answering smile told him the same look of complete happiness graced his own features.

Wolf and Mountie escorted them to the bonding wigwam and held open the deer hide door as they settled inside without giving another thought to the outside world. The elder Guide and Sentinel exchanged glances as joyful laughter from the wigwam floated through the night, joining with the ancient sounds on the wind of their kindred spirits celebrating love.

~~~0~~~

Amazed by Lonestar (1999)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfoRIQbIgLA

Every time our eyes meet  
This feeling inside me  
Is almost more than I can take  
Baby, when you touch me  
I can feel how much you love me  
And it just blows me away

I've never been this close to anyone or anything  
I can hear your thoughts  
I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you

The smell of your skin  
The taste of your kiss  
The way you whisper in the dark  
Your hair all around me  
Baby, you surround me  
You touch every place in my heart

Oh, it feels like the first time every time  
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes

I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life  
With you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby, I'm amazed by you.


End file.
